Thursday, October 20, 2011

New Zealand Trip. Pt.1 - LA

I had been planning this trip for YEARS.. I love rugby, always wanted to go to NZ, so it was kind of a perfect fit. It started out as a bunch of us going, and then people started bailing, it was too much money, they couldn't get the time off, ect. In the end, it was just myself and KT. Which, actually turned out for the best I think...

We made a friend at the Calgary terminal... actually I made a few friends, I got bored and started playing Gin with a couple of old ladies... they were supposed to be in LA for a filming of Dr. Phil. And we met this guy named Conor, he was heading to NZ too for the World Cup, what a coincidence! Four hour flight to LA... 8 hour lay over... So, we had two choices- 1. We stay at the airport, bored outta our skulls, OR 2. We go wander around...
This trip was marked by the wandering. Wandering rocks. I was fully aware that LAX was huge... this didn't really sink in till we tried to leave. We go outside, and start walking... like we are going to walk to the beach, or the city... we see buildings in the distance, we decide on a direction and go. We walk past a USO, Hello Military Men... so we are walking and a group of them totally have the same idea and start walking behind us eventually they pass us. Both of our little groups realize that this is fruitless cause is all airport and stuff as far as the eye can see, so we we start back, and the military boys end up walking behind us again. Which is when airport security rolls up, and asks them what they are doing, making it very clear that they are to stop following 'the ladies' around. Lol. Silly guard... They are just lost little boys. We thought this was hilarious.

We ended up getting a cab, and going down to Venice Beach. It was kind of a bad weather day... as much bad weather as LA gets... it was still like 20 degrees. No wind. So we walked up the pier, then along the beach where we found this giant piece of sea weed... WTF. That is my FOOT. This justified Kt's previously irrational fear of seaweed... This seaweed with eat your children. Fear -rational.

Anyway, we started walking up the boardwalk, which was kind of a rip off, cause there were no board... I EXPECTED boards of some kind... disappointment. Street performers, shops, things... Every other "Shop" there was a "Licenced Medicinal Marijuana Distributor" Or a doctor's office that specializes in prescribing such things, or a tattoo parlour... All the things i've ever heard about Los Angeles are true.

Oh, and famous people just walk around too. Or, I guess, skateboard? around. Ok, so we are walking, then Kt starts hitting me, apparently excited about something, but unable to express verbally what she wanted me too see... then I see him. Puck from Glee. Just skateboarding. And we all know from past experiences that Kt doesn't do well with famous people... Remember the Idaho/Gold Motel incident? She's like a little puppy. Anyway, we defs made some prolonged eye contact. Hot...I didn't get a picture or autograph or anything because I had one major problem... I have NO idea what his real name is. And I wasnt about to be calling him Puck... "Hey, Puck...Guy from Glee... Person...who umm... Can we get a picture?!!?" Yeah. No.

Also, apparently there is no dress code there. See you have the LA sherpas... If you ever get lost, just follow one. On second thought, don't follow guys that look like this... OR You can just walk around this girl. Not wearing any pants... or... underwear..? I don't care what you say, that is NOT a dress, it's barely a shirt. AND.. I'm pretty sure she was goin commando... but i felt inappropriate trying to really figure it out.

Anyway, we walked down to Santa Monica, just to say that we did, then we walked back, and funny thing about venice, they legit try to be VENICE. They have canals. Which, granted, are cool, but very poser-ish.

YOU ARE IN CALIFORNIA, Stop trying so hard POSER. ...

Ok, fine, I would totes sell out and live here. Shut it.

When we got back to the airport we met up with Conor again, and while we were standing there and chit-chatting, I spot a suit, Kt sees him too... Mormon Missionary. All by his lonesome. Looks green. You know what that means!! HAZE HIM. So Kt and I discuss our plan of action- we see him sit down in an empty row of chairs, we were gonna go sit right beside him and start asking questions, and you know, haze the new guy. Brilliant plan. So we go sit pretty much on top of him, we have him surrounded, and I start some small talk, then Kt blows it and starts talking about her brother on a mission... Good Job Kt. Now he knows we're LDS... Rookie mistake.

The flight wasn't so bad. Actually it was pretty good, night flight so I slept for a fair bit, we had tv heardrests and we could watch pretty much anything we wanted, it also has tetris- with the remote control. Sweet as. But the best part of the flight? The safety video. Now, if you've never been on a plane, or you need a reminder of how boring and horrible these videos are click HERE. Also, I hate listening to it in English, and then again in French...

But here is one of the reasons I LOVE New Zealand-
Umm, plane full of All Blacks? Yes please. When it says life jackets for infants- its a shot of a Wallaby fan. LOL. And to top it all off- Grandma streaking. AWESOME!

Conor took a different plane, left about an hour ahead of us, so we met back up with him, talked about the flight, and we mentioned our safety video... he didn't see the one we saw... He got this gem-

Yup, Kiwis are Awesome. Great start to a FANTASTIC TRIP... We were now in Auckland, New Zealand, 6am September 22nd...

Saturday, October 15, 2011

I'm workin on it!

Ok, so I realize that I haven't blogged all summer. I'd apologize, but im sure you are sick of hearing my apologies... So... yeah.

I ran off to New Zealand for a couple weeks, it was awesome. I'm working on the retelling of my adventures, complete with pictures... but... its more difficult than anticipated. I have to give props to my friends that are picture-people. I got a little picture happy while I was there, took about 1000 pictures, and now ....I have to go through all of them... Its kind of a pain in my rear.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I miss Blogging...

This is weird feeling... I miss blogging. Remember when I used to be funny and clever? I miss being funny and clever... And Michelle is right, I do suck at this in the summer time... Maybe its not just the summer.. And ive made countless pledges to be better at it, and each time ive failed. But before when I said I was going to do it, I did so because I felt obligated to... But I sincerely miss it right now. I have so much to say.

I cant garuntee that its going to improve right away, lets face it, bridge jumping and sleep beat blogging, but I do miss it.... soooo. It will happen. And I will backblog all the way to June, don't you worry. You will have plenty of things to read as soon as school really starts up and you have homework that you want to procrastinate. In the meantime... Enjoy summer, I'll be back.

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Dust is too Heavy

Again, I gonna start with an apology... Its been a while... And I don't even have much of an excuse. So straight up, Sorry...

If it makes any difference, I have like 12 posts that are half done... But that doesn't really help you. You know when you let things get behind, and it starts this vicious circle.. Something gets covered in dust, then you put something on top of it, then it gets covered in dust cause you are trying to deal with the first thing, but you cant cause its buried under something else and the dust.

And then you end up trying to pass this off as making it better, but then you read what you just wrote, and it doesn't even make sense... but you leave it there anyway because at least its SOMETHING.

But you know what i'm talking about- playing catch-up. I hate it. SO MUCH. So this is me starting over. I will back-post those ones that iver been working on, and i'll tell you when I post them/put a link to them... Sooo. Yeah. Thats how this is gonna go, cause I can't just keep putting of playing catch up, cause the more you put it off, the harder the game gets.

New start, I broke my resolution... which is what you are supposed to do with resolutions so with that all taken care of, we can move on! Back to BLOGGING!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Manditory Sex Party

This is what I aspire to. Um, let me clarify. I don't aspire to have Manditory Sex Parties, but to do what Allie did. If you are unaware- Allie writes a blog called Hyperbole and a Half Its freakin hilarious.

Anyway, she wrote this post and mentioned Manditory Sex Parties, not like they were a thing, but she made it up, cause it was funny... And then she does this

And if you are too lazy, or too embarrassed to google search Manditory Sex Party, because your mom or your roommate might be confused when it shows up in your search history, ill do it for you, save you the trouble...

It might be too small to read but Google found 2430000 results.

This is amazing. She first used the phrase October 2009, Its now May of 2011. 19 months, give or take, and enough people read her blog, and spread it around that in that time, it became that big. ITS AMAZING!! One day... enough people will read one of my blogs that I could do something like that!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Biggest Loser

So the people at my office are completely obsessed with weight loss and dieting. Its gotten to the point that it scares me, just a little bit. They do diets that they are only allowed to be on for 3 weeks... or they die.

Anyway, some of the girls wanted to start an office 'biggest loser' the idea was that everyone would put in $10, and at the end of the month whoever lost the most weight, by percentage, won the pot. At first they were going to do it by weight... but thats just silly. It would be too easy. Anyway, I jumped in on that I could use the extra cash, and I need to lose some weight anyway. Its a win-win.

So, Here we go, I took some measurements, weighed in, and we are going to check back in June 9th.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sense of Impending Doom

My sister and her family came over today. My little nephew had a bunch of bites on his back, and this became a topic of discussion for the night, wondering what bit him, when he got it, why it didn't get his brothers. So, being the uber-nerd I am, I decided to google it, and i'm going through pages and pages of bug bites and allergic reactions... and its the usual things,


...itchy skin, blotchy rash, swelling.... a sense of impending doom...

Wait. What? A sense of impending doom?!? What the H kind of bug bite has a reaction that causes a SENSE OF IMPENDING DOOM? I'm never friggin going outside ever again! Are you serious, if something weird bites you in the woods and you go see a doctor about it, he takes a look- "Oh yeah, there's a little redness, some swelling, is it itchy? ...oh yeah, ok, um have you felt any... impending doom?" .....Riiiiiight.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

First game ever.

So. We had our first game yesterday. And when I say first game, I mean FIRST EVER. Chinook High School Womens Rugby. Brand new school, brand new team, mostly brand new girls.

We played CCH, final score was 27-0. I kind of expected the loss, what I didn't expect was the this- It was truly a phenomenal thing to watch- we could actually see the girls learning. Every minute that passed they got better. We were impressed with the way they handled themselves in every aspect of the game, and how they kept up the positivity. The way they changed, and adapted and grew start to finish was amazing. They recognized when things were wrong and took steps to fix it.
For sure there are things we need to work on- (rucking, tackling, positional things, tactics- type stuff) But overall, it was a fantastic thing to watch.

Like we say "Progression, not Perfection" And that was some of the greatest progression I've ever seen.

We were scored on almost right off the bat, like 2 minutes in. This is when the first major click happened, and they were like, 'oh this is a real game....this is what its like...' About 6 or 7 minutes later we got scored on again. We made ground, had some good runs, our rucking started to improve, we got close to scoring a couple of times, and about 13 minutes passed from when we last got scored on and we get scored on again. There is a lot of back and forth, some good tackles and it takes them almost to the end of the half to score again. It was awesome. Not that we got scored on, but that everytime around, we held them for longer.

We only had 4 subs, we put em in at half. We got so close to scoring so many times, rucking got better still. We made some rookie mistakes, got pinned in our end, got scored on again. But there were a few times when we were on our own 5, and we managed to get it out. Super.

Huge positivity in our team, it was unbelievable. We only got two penalties. Which is awesome for first timers! And there were ZERO mauls. We never got caught up on our feet. The entire second half they only scored once. YOU COULD ACTALLY SEE PROGRESS. I can almost measure in real quantities how much progression they made. Also, no serious injuries!

I'm super excited for the season, huge potential! AWESOME!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Pregame Jitters

Ok, I've had pre-game jitters before. Everyone has. I've never experienced them this bad though... If this is how my coaches ever felt, i'm sorry. Its the feeling of- I have done everything I could, and now it was totally out of my hands. At least when I played, I had a little ball of nervousness in the pit of my stomach, but it was never bad, nor did it stay very long, because I had control over what happened, it was up to me how the game went and how I did. Now the little ball turned into a large boulder of nervousness, and instead of being located somewhere in my guts, it lodged directly in the depths of my soul. I keep thinking to myself, 'What if I failed them?' Pretty much the nerves are killing me.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Election Day

Our family has never been really political, it was never something we discussed or even really cared about, which is why i thought it was really funny when I found myself watching the voting coverage with pretty much my entire family. We were all glued to the tv, and we cheered together for every seat that we won. It was like watching a really intense match of a really intense sport that we were all emotionally invested in.

Craziness happens though... Majority Government with NDP as the official opposition? What now Liberals?! What did you think was gonna happen?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Oh Family Ward.

It was stake conference today. And you know what? Sometimes I miss family wards. Kids are just SO cute. There was this little girl there. She was trying to get the attention of someone down our row, and she would circle around try and sneak up the row. But when she got close she was afraid to move past Kara. Then she got an idea...

She ran back to wherever she was sitting grabbed a bag of animal crackers and started laying them out in a little line... Setting a trap for whoever she wanted out of the row. Possibly the cutest thing i've seen all year.

But as every story goes, she found another boy and soon forgot all about her little trap.

A Sea of Ugly Hats...

This weekend hosted an historic event- The Marriage of Prince William to Katherine Middleton. Mark it on your calendars, write in your journal, its a day to remember. The future King of England got married. And it was quite the event. A day for the history books people!

The time difference between here and London, is such that the wedding happened at 3 am our time, or something silly like that, and equally silly -there were people that stayed up, or got up early to watch it. And to you people I say- you re crazy. Did you think you were going to miss something that they weren't going to air 800 times the next day? Cause you were wrong. Very...VERY wrong...

There are 17 televisions in my office. At any given time 8 of those tvs were airing wedding stuff. And every time I looked up at one of those tvs all I saw was a sea of bad hats...

I have been quickly corrected- they aren't hats. That are called 'fascinators' and they are very high fashion. If fashion is something that somebody dragged out of an era that only existed because people didn't know any better and they had limited supplies to work with... Oh... Wait...

I will admit I watched the wedding twice. Purely to see how bad these hats fascinators were. I really don't understand them... the first thing that crossed my mind was- 'what the frig is on your head' not- 'wow, I am fascinated by the lovely array of feathers and ribbons placed on the nub of a hat that is sitting cockeyed on some surface of your head that isn't quite your head, nor your face...' OK, well it sort of was the latter...

Firstly- Victoria Beckham...

This was not so bad. And the former 'Posh Spice' did pull it off rather well... still, it was only half on her head, it looked like it was trying to crawl onto her face. Then there were the flowery thing with the spiral spikes coming out of it. Beware, not just pretty- she sneezes once and she's gonna stab herself.

Another fascinating piece...

This is actually the first one I saw. If she was going for 'blue jay' - she nailed it...
Again, its not fully on her head. I've come to fin that this it the point... WHY this is the point, i'll never know.

This was my mom's favorite...

Morbid satellite dish? We saw this on tv, and I swear it blocked like 9 people's views. The best part about it was that we saw it from the one side and thought, my that is one big, hats fascinator, but it at least covers half her head, then she turned... WTF, there is a giant bow on the other side... SURPRISE!! Not a good surprise, like when a baby starts poopin in the middle of changing an already poopy diaper- I mean, it was bad enough, then it just kept coming.

I think you all have to agree with me on this one- The Worst Offenders of the Day-
Sarah Ferguson's Daughters...

Or as I have come to know them... The Ugly(hat) Step Sisters. I don't even think this needs my commentary...

Maybe it does- Nope... it doesn't... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Who thought that was a good idea?!? Come on! You can't even tell me the guy who made that thinks its nice, he's probably havin a good ol laugh with his buddies about what they made people put on their heads!

Also, i've been doing a little research, and I'm almost certain there is a direct correlation between how ugly a hat fascinator is and how expensive it is. Well, good for you fascinator-maker-guy.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Why do I even TRY?!

So, last Thursday at practice, I asked the girls if they wanted to get together over Easter to play buggers and stuff. This question was met with a resounding 'yes'. I told them that i had to have at least 15 girls out to practice to make it worth anyone's time(especially mine). So I had them raise their hands if they were up for practicing... I should have made a note of who put up their hand...

Monday's Practice
9 girls showed up. Not bad. Not what I wanted but, it was workable. We practiced place kicking, played 500 and full contact British Bull-dog and hung out passed the ball around. It wasn't a total waste of time. We went for slurpees after practice, hung out for like an hour at Greens, it was fun times.

Tuesday's Practice
I wasn't even going to have practice today, but some of the girls on Monday said they wanted to get together. I got off work at 1pm anyway, so I said sure, we can get together. 4.5 people showed up to practice. My own sister ditched out on me. The .5 of a person came from Sam, who doesn't really belong to me, she belongs to LCI. We kicked the ball around for a litle bit... and did pretty much nothing. We hung out. Team Bonding?

Thursday's Practice
I posted it on facebook, I mass texted, reminded people about practice, promised fun... 14 people showed up to practice. This was promising... right up until the girls bust out eggies, fruit roll ups and felt masks... Uh...huh. It was really windy, and that is what I attribute the uh... failure? ... of practice to. I had them run a lap, stretch out, you know, properly warm up. We played soccer with a rugby ball, which is usually a lot of fun. But it only lasted about 7 minutes before they got bored. Come on! I loved that. One of the girls asked to borrow a pair of shorts. I found this funny cause she is one of those little ones... I looked at her and was like "You could fit two of you into my shorts" Challenge accepted...
I wish I had my camera out a minute sooner, watching them try to get in my shorts was probably the funniest thing... Then a few of them thought it would be a good idea to tackle me. I don't know why this is a recurring thing, but I laid a couple girls out, and then all of a sudden they became very aware that 1 on 1, and 2 on 1s don't really work... so that got smart, and apparently I didn't have ONE ally. Not even my sister. Three of them got my legs, 3 of them took my top and I went down. Immediate dog pile. I put up a solid fight, but alas, I was beat. I never gave up though, I got two of them, but then 4 of them had me... so it was a lose-lose. Some of the girls decided to walk around showing off their umm...undergarments? Awkward. At one point a girl had lost an earring and there were a few of them down on the ground looking for it. I didn't know what they were doing, I said they looked like grazing cattle, and if they were pretending to be cows, practice had gotten too weird and I quit. A while later, after playing a round of British Bulldog...

And....Yeah... That was that...

Well I hope they had a good time, cause when Monday rolls around, things are going to get intense... Two games per week, two tournaments on two of the the weekends... which are usually three or four games... They are going to be sore.

Friday, April 22, 2011

My Mom....The Ninja Assasin.

Its good Friday, Happy Easter everyone. I'm going to cut to the chase, and get straight to the point...hehehe. Ok, so my little brother and I have this obsession with knives, and he has this set of throwing knives and a target set up in the back yard. Well he used to have a target... its been... demolished, as has the fence behind it. So now its old doors and boards. I was out there throwing knives, and my mom comes outside to get something from the garage and we start talking about stuff, and I asked her if she'd thrown these knives before, and she said she hadn't. Now, my mom is cool like this, so I handed her a knife. She threw it. It stuck. Deep.

I may have peed my pants a little. I wish I had my camera. I decided I had to go get it and she had to do it again.

She was a little camera shy, so the second time around it wasn't nearly as scary, but it gets the point across.

I don't know if you have ever thrown a knife, but getting the rotation, speed and trajectory right... not easy. My mom's a ninja.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 19th 2011

I've been kind of frustrated with ...well, everything lately. How to I solve my life's problems? Oh, I spent 45 minutes watching cute kitty videos on youtube. Yup. Thats what i've done with my night...

Monday, April 18, 2011


You may be wondering what's with the number title. Well, I'll tell you- 14 months, 9 days, 22 hours, 51 minutes. This is how long it took Cathy (Frache) Bevans to find my blog. Now, don't get all high and mighty and think to yourself 'well i've been following your blog for a while now' because you see, most of you followers were informed that I in fact had a blog. Also, i'd like to bring your attention to a horrible game I've been playing...

Also, you followers of mine have obviously not read my whole blog because the aforelinked post clearly states that you are to comment when you read said post. So, to be fair, Cathy is the 4th comment there.

Also, I kind of feel bad that i've kept this from her for so long...Especially cause I kind of wrote it FOR her, among a select few others. Aka Lowry. I kind of assumed that she had found it somewhere along the way... She texted me today to tell me that she was going to read my entire blog. I didn't think much of it, just assumed that she was bored and wanted to go reread. She commented that this is the first she's seen of my blog. Legitimately I didn't believe her. I went through every post I ever wrote, looking for Cathy comments... I found none. I feel like a tool. And at the same time, am laughing uncontrollably.

I am choosing to look an the bright side, she has something decent to read for a while as she catches up, and I can look for comments, like a scavenger hunt. It will be fun! Right?!

I love you Cathy Bevans.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Cardston Rugby.

So Cami Hill is a teacher-type friend of mine. She is doing a practicum out in Cardston, and last Saturday she calls me up and asks me to teach her how to throw a rugby ball. I am more than happy to help her out, and we get to talking about her sudden interest in the game. She is pretty much in charge of all the girls gym classes at CJHS, and they had come to the rugby portion of the year, and she really had no idea how to go about that.

So me being the over achiever that I am, jumped right on that. I taught her how to pass a ball, went over a couple simple ball handling drills. Then I asked her how many days she was teaching rugby, she answered '4'. I don't really know what I was thinking at the time, but I offered to come help her teach for a day. She thought that would be a great idea. And thats the story of how Alaya became a gym teacher. Jokes. So I set her up with some drills for Monday and decided to go out on tuesday.

Luckily the weather was pretty nice, not too cold, not too windy. First class started at 8:40. Class of grade 8s. I wasn't really sure about how to go about this whole thing, how much control I could take, but it seemed to go fairly smoothly, we worked on a few passing drills and played touch for a little bit. It was odd, definately took getting used to. They were the youngest girls i've ever taught. And their classes were only 47 minutes long, so including time to change, and taking attendance ect, we had about 25 minutes of actual outside time, minus about 8 minutes for their 'warm up'. Also, i've been so used to coaching as opposed to teaching... like when I coach, its a team of girls that all WANT to be there and participate and work. Teaching, you have a class of some really gung-ho girls, some that really don't want to be there, or do anything, and some that don't care either way.

All the classes went pretty much the same way, I taught one grade 7 class, two grade 8 classes and two grade nine classes. The 7 and 8 classes went pretty much the same way, practice passing, play buggers. I gained quite the appreciation for what teachers do. SO MUCH REPITITION. To teach the same thing to every class, answer the same questions...

The grade 9s, I could have a little more fun with cause they had seem rugby before. The 7s had no idea what was going on, the 8s had a few memories from the previous year, but the grade 9s had two years of it, and they seem to catch on quicker than 12 year olds.

The afternoon 9 class was kind of funny, it was a bigger class, and I think the more kids there are in one place, the slower their mental processes work... so I had to explain things a little more, but still not to the extent I had to explain to the 7s. We moved from passing to offense/defense drills, which was awesome. The best moment of the day came when I was describing how the offense alligned. I compared it to how geese fly... So I said "You know how geese fly right? Thats how you are going to run." Then one of the girls starts flapping her arms like a goose, with a really confused look on her face, she asked me "Like this?" I lost it. Usually i'm pretty good about kids being special. But I honestly couldn't keep my laughter in. I felt kind of bad. And this is why i'm not a teacher... She was a good sport about it, and we all had a good laugh. Ridiculous.

The morning grade 9 class was my favorite though, there were only about 12 girls in it, so we ripped through passing a defense and they legit played a good game of buggers. They understood offside, I would blow my whistle to make them freeze, and the girls would look around recognize they were in the wrong place and fix it. It was beautiful.

I've wanted Cardston to get a rugby team for years. They would be so good. If the grade 9s understood it, the High School girls would totally understand it. F'real, they need to get on that.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Wild(e) Fires

Friday was a throw-back to the old days. And it was awesome. A few years back I spent a lot of time with Stirling people, and we would have bon fires. And when I say bon fire, I mean BON FIRE. I never really understood people in Lethbridge using that phrase to describe the fires they had down in the coulees... In fact, it kind of bugged me, cause in reality- those were just fires, there was nothing "bon" about them... They were small enough to cook things on, small enough to jump over, small enough that you could control it, and put it out with a bucket of water if needs be... Wilde Bon Fires were epic. We would burn whole sheds, multiple couches, hundreds of pounds of wood... we would use a whole jerry-can of gasoline.

It was Bon Fire time! The wood and ...other contents of the pit were still pretty wet from the past few days, so it took a bit to get going, but once it really caught, it was stellar! Stunk to high heaven, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Carson may or may not have singed half of his hair... Not enough to make baldy type spot, just enough to crisp the ends. I thought it was funny, he didn't seem to
think so.

No, its not ash... its just burnt hair. I kind of love this kid.

We had to wait for the fire to die before we called it a night, so a few of us sat in his truck, and he whipped out some mission pics, they were pretty sweet. Also, it was like the fire that just wouldn't die. It burned for so freaking long!

PS. We hit up value village before we left.

Tell me that I wouldn't rock this outfit.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Insert dead rock star's name here

So, people are crazy, and I see my fair share of them. Example- This dude legit thinks he is (insert dead rock star here), or he wants to be just like him... minus the dead part. Sometimes people fill out charts like they are checking into a pay-by-the-hour-motel with their "cousin"...If you know what I mean... Fake info.

Anyway, He was a little off on the birthday. He made a list of drugs he was currently taking, under history he writes "I used to be addicted to alcohol and drugs(crack/cocaine)" WHO WRITES THAT?!? Employment? Self, in a band perhaps? Marital status- Single. Of course you are! (insert dead rock star here) never got married, and you are CRAZY! I love crazy people...

I wrote this post out like 4 times, trying not to break any patient confidentiality things... and this is what I give you!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

For the last time!

So, I was going to vlog this, but I just can't find the time to actually do it... Sorry.

SO. I get this letter from the CES. Pretty standard- You will be graduating from institute, blah blah blah, invite your parents, blah blah, its at such and such place at such and such time...

The Kick I get out of it it the PS...

"You will be graduating with a gold certificate. This will be your last, final, ect certificate. Please keep coming to institute classes, but you will NOT be honored again!"

...YOU WILL NOT BE HONORED AGAIN!!! Really? You felt like you needed to emphasize that? I feel like its a line some Disney villain yells at someone...You'll NEVER be honored AGAIN!!! Cue evil laughter.

So, I guess this is the last time i'll graduate from institute... sad.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Team Bonding

On a funny note, we had our Team-Bonding-Party last night... Wow. I almost forgot how ridiculous teenage girls are.

We BBQed, hung out, played buggers, watched part of Forever Strong, learned a cheer and as always, played 'What If..' We had both the Seniors and the JVs there, and im pretty sure only 3 girls couldn't make it. So, we had about 40 girls in my house. Oh yeah, we had it at my house... I'm not sure wether this was the best idea, cause now they know where I live. The last time girls found out where I lived they started a prank war that ended with the coaches stealing one girls bedroom door and replacing it with a mutilated, spray-painted hole ridden 'door'... But, I choose to trust these girls. We'll see how that goes.

Buggers was ridiculous cause this was the second time most of them had ever played, and it was just a mess. Fun though, a few of the girls started a wrestling match. One of them turned on me and I threw her down. Somebody really shouldve had a camera. It was not unlike mine and Kelsey's shoe fight...

The best part of the night was getting them to make up a cheer. Being a brand new team, we really had nothing. There was a line said "Then watch this flow" in a gangsta kind of way, and one of the girls proposed- "Instead of 'watch this flow' can we say 'slap them ho's'.." Really? Did you just say that? Also, this started an uncontrollable laughter, and some sort of inside joke that may or may not have ended with one girl peeing her pants a little bit cause she was laughing so hard... She legit had to go change her pants. The funny thing is that she made it funny, and boarderline socially acceptable... Since when is peeing your pants not embarassing?

Oh well, if thats not team bonding, I don't know what is.

Weather its Right or Wrong.

Why is it that whenever you want the Weatherman to be right, he is wrong, and whenever you hope he is wrong- he is right?

This is not my first post about the weather. Its something that consistently aggrivates me. Not so much that it happens, cause hey, snow happens. But its the fact that the weathermen of this world are totally inconsistant. They lie, they tell the truth, and they change their minds ALL the time.

Around a week ago there was a winter storm warning in effect for Southern Alberta. In Lethbridge it ended up raining a bit, thats all. Yesterday they put another winter storm warning out, I was banking on it being a April fools joke... It really wasn't. It started snowing last night and hasn't quit. Rude. Its Spring. So says the Calandar. And I know your seasons are mixed up anyway, WINTER IS OVER. I'm sick of practicing in the snow. Our field is on the edge of town and we put up with 80kmh winds everyday anyway, we don't need snow on top of that.

A week ago, the forecast for this week was temperatures in the double digets, low teens and calm winds. NOW, its maybe going to get up to 7 degrees with winds of about 35kmh, which means 60kmh. All this snow had better be gone by Monday.

And while its nice enough out, its not too windy, and its wet, fun snow, around 0 degrees, I still dont appreciate being lied to. Also, I wanted to Spring Clean today. I can't spring clean in the winter.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I'm taking a Belly Dance class

So once upon a time I thought to myself...hey, you know what would be really fun... If I took a pole/belly dance class...



I thought no such thing. Well, not for any extended period of time anyway...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Do not mistake this post for anything other than what it is. It is a post of pure honest feelings right now. I'm not looking for someone to fix me. I'm not fishing for anything, I don't want compliments, or encouragement, or anything of the sort. I just want to express something. Something of the moment. I know the feeling in its entirety wont last, but this isn't a new feelings, and I know it will never go away...

I'm not sure which defined emotion to label it just yet, but it sits somewhere between frustration and failure, in its simplest forms. With a little twinge of disappointment.

Its funny, cause I have exactly what I wanted, and I foresaw the possibility of actually getting it, but I neglected to properly prepare for it, and am now paying the price of my lack of forethought.

I am coaching rugby at Chinook High. Which is awesome. And I love it, however, there are moments of frustration. Now, i've coached a few years, and there are the usual frustrations- none of which were ever anything to think twice about, but these frustrations are 10x what those were because I look, and I see how it could be better... I know its our first year, and we are still working out the kinks... but ugh!

Firstly, its weird not being in complete control all the time. Everything I do or think I run by Missy. Its also weird coaching with people you've never played with/met until two weeks ago. Its good. Don't get me wrong, its nice to have different perspectives/drills/experience, it will make our team more well rounded. Still, I have to check everything I do, and explain drills to them first and visa versa and we have different names for A LOT of things... And I don't want to change.

Secondly, as of right now- time management sucks. SO much of our practice is being wasted, and we never get through what we plan for a day. It bothers me because I'm in love with efficiency. This, I talked to Missy about and we are going to fix-ish. Also, it bothers me that most of the time, we plan practice right before practice starts. Would it kill us to sit down and discuss a few days in advance? There are meetings, and classes, and marking, and everything, and I don't like that the 3 of us coaching have not had anytime to discuss how to run things...

Thirdly, there are 3 of us. For JV and SV. Its really hard coaching two teams at the same time, and I feel like the JVs are learning at a phenomenal rate, but they are still holding the seniors back... Its been 4.5 weeks of practices, and I think today I got everyone's names figured out... Maybe.

Lastly, and probably most importantly- Last year I took a little hiatus from rugby. And now that im back into it, I feel like i've lost something. Like im not as good of a coach. Also, im probably in the worst shape of my life.

Its really disheartening cause these girls are great, and I feel like they need more attention, and I can't do that when i'm trying to look after 40 girls. Not to mention the amount of injuries we have thus far. So many girls with shin splints, and girls who get sick, a lot... I don't remember having so many invalids when I played...

All I really want is an hour with Kendra and Missy. Just to work things out. I was hoping to get it on Friday, but Kendra can't make it.

I tried to teach scrums to girls with little to no experience in about 25 minutes. Which would've been adequate, if I wasn't trying to teach 20 girls at the same time...Frustration. But not with them. With myself. It seems like a thing that old me could've done. And I failed. So now im just a frustrated failure.

Friday, March 25, 2011

I Love Your Crack.

There was a man, who everyday walked to a stream to get water, he carried two water pots, one a perfect pot, the other one with a crack in it. Story sound familiar?

I lured you in with a funny blog title, you thought you were getting entertainment, but this is just going to be sentiment, and now you have to read this...

The story of the pot goes like this- the cracked pot felt bad for having a crack and leaking half its water out while being carried back to the house, and the pot apologizes for this, and the man tells the pot- I knew of your crack and planted flowers on your side of the path, and every day I carry you up from the stream, the water you leak goes to the flowers and makes my walk beautiful...

We had our wards RS retreat today, and it was great. It was about self esteem and the such. It was really good. We were talking about the influence that we have on other people, either for good or for bad. And a girl there shared a personal story about how she really struggles with self esteem, and I thought this was crazy cause she is totally a fox... A while back around when I first met her, I remember seeing her in church one day and thinking, "She is really pretty, I should go tell her she looks really good." But I dismissed the thought cause I'd figured she was told that on a pretty consistent basis, and she'd have to be an idiot not to know she was hot stuff... I kind of regret that moment now that I know, cause she probably needed to hear it then.

SO, this got me thinking- I am usually pretty free with compliments, but sometimes I hold back, and its funny, its the things left unsaid that I never forget. And I know the moment has passed, and if said now, would require back story and explanation and probably a little awkwardness... I mean, it does happen- I go up to someone and say 'Hey, remember 2 years ago, at that thing, I meant to tell you that you were awesome.' People sometimes take it the wrong way, or whatever...

Anyway, I have resolved to change this! Starting now. I won't hold back any compliments, cause I don't care if it makes me sound creepy! Also, starting now, I'm going to post things that i've been meaning to say to people. I know its not as good as actually saying them, but if I get it out here, maybe they will stop haunting me. I'm going try to do this on a monthly basis, cause Lord knows- So much is left unsaid... I'm going to call these posts "Left Unsaid, Said Right" Just so you know they are coming... I actually might make a whole new blog devoted to this, im not sure yet.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Dance party and Trolls Fest.

Last weekend I had a dance party at my house. Its been almost a year since ive thrown a shin-dig at my place. It was about time. Also, I had a little encouragement from my married friends. They wanted to party, but feared that no one would come to a married persons' party. They were probably right.

I talked to my neighbors before hand, asked them to call me before they called the cops. Totally worked! It made me a little sad though, cause really- A party is not a party unless the cops show up... It was a huge success. SO many people came, i'm sure at one point in time there were 120 people in my house. My living room was rank though... see, I don't have any windows in my living room... so it got nasty sauna-sweaty in there. Ugh. Somebody rigged the sprayer-thing on the sink, so I watched a bunch of people get soaked. Some people thought it was funny... some people didn't take it so well. Nevertheless- Awesome!!
I say it was a success, not because I had a whole bunch of people there, but because it ended when I wanted it to end, nothing was broken or stolen, AND ...people cleaned up before they left... BLEW MY MIND

Dan came to the party, reminded me that Trolls Fest was this weekend. And for those of you that are unaware- Trolls fest is a drunken brawl of a rugby tournament. Complete with naked guys in a hot tub, sombreros and fights.

Saturday morning rolls around and I decided to go watch Dan play a few games. I brought my rugby stuff just in case I wanted to jump in on a game. I got there and a bunch of us were standing around talking, Dan was trying to get Cougle some shorts, cause he forgot his. He was too drunk to drive home and get them... at 11 am...

I don't really know what I was thinking, but I offered mine. I get them for him, and minutes later regret my decision when I find out he is going commando in them... I was pretty sure i would catch some kind of STD from them... so needless to say there was no way I was going to be playing rugby... I contemplated actually burning them when he gave them back to me... 2 games later...

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Formerly I had titled this blog "Rugby Reunion" but I started writting it and it became more about him than anything else. Meet Richard Cartier- Aka "Cartch"
He is one of the greatest men of all time. I want my children to marry his children. Cartch was my rugby coach for grade 11 & 12. Its funny to say that cause it seemed like so much longer. He moved to Lethbridge the beginning of my grade 10 year, and was our seminary teacher. At first I didn't want anything to do with him, cause we had our seminary teachers, and he came from out east and had a funny accent. I was separated from my friends and put into his class with a bunch of people I didn't know... Change sucks. I quickly changed my mind. He was/is a fantastic teacher. I remember still lessons he taught, and it wasn't just the lessons he taught verbally, it was in his nature. When he didn't even mean to teach. A lot of people said that he was a totally different guy when he was on a field. Sure, his language changed a little, as did his manner, but at the same time, not really. He was still himself. He never did or said anything that contradicted his character. Same guy, different situation. I remember one time, we were in Edmonton and our Rugby bus drove by the Temple and some of the girls started asking questions about the church and it was amazing the way he spoke about it... The church guy and the rugby guy, same guy.

We lovingly named him 'The Push-up Nazi'... And he made us do, what we've come to refer to as 'Cartier-Push-ups'. Explanation- The regular push-up has two levels, which when done in sequence is equal to one push-up AKA- up-down=one. The Cartier push-up has three levels. Along with up and down, there was 'half', and it was up to him when one push up was complete, AKA- up-half-up-half-down-hold it down- hold it- half-up-down-half .......- up-down-up-half-up-down-up=one... This, for those of you unaware, is the definition of brutal. When he said 10 push-ups, it could take 10 seconds, or 10 minutes...

Well, two years of playing for the guy just wasn't enough, so I stuck around and eventually ended up coaching his JV team. A few more years passed, and after the 2007 season he was transferred to Calgary to teach seminary. Apparently the Lord thought someone there needed some H-core help...

ANYWAY, Cartch decided to come down and have a lil reunion with anyone who was still/happened to be in Lethbridge. It was great seeing some of the old girls, and catching up. Being there made me jones for some LCI rugby... We got on the topic of push-ups. We went around talking about how many we could do in a minute. I figured I could get about 20 in. Thats reasonable right? Then this happened...

Cleared a space on the floor of Boston Pizza and had a push-up show down. Cartch is a machine. I think the total count was Cartier-40, Patzer-30. Which is totally respectable. I was impressed. The best part was the fact that there were about 9 cops having some dinner there and they thought this was hilarious.

PS. 12. I went home cause I really wasn't sure how many I could do in a minute, the answer is 12. I need to hit the gym...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Pre-Pi Day Pie Day.

Sunday. March 13. I'm fully aware some of you out there don't get it. I've tried explaining it to some of you and you just stare at me blankly, or with confused and/or judgmental faces. I know i'm a geek. Get over it. I will explain this one last time, please dont make that face...

In mathematics pi=3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937... OR just plain ol 3.14, cause any more digits deals with crap too small to make any difference to anything real. Pi=3.14=3/14=March(3rd month) 14th(day). Simple. And as a clever play on words... Pi Day= PIE Day. But seeing as how actual pi is on a Monday, Sunday night had to suffice.

ANYWAY, Kara and I decided we would like to take part in the festivities. We didn't have the time, nor the patience for pie, so we were going to be clever- because it was faux-pi day, we were going to bring a faux-pie. Aka, A cake shaped like a pie in a pie dish. Brilliance. We mixed up the recipie a little bit, make it a lil thicker, gave it a little banana and hot chocolate... It was going to be good. We popped it in the oven, 'bout half hour later, we have cake. Pie. Pake?

As a precursor to this moment in time- Jocelyn our roommate is an avid baker. And she LOVES her baking things. Once upon a time she left a knife out and it was broken through the klutziness of another roommate... a tiny part of her died when she found it. On the verge of tears I tried to comfort her, but could only comfort so much while she clutched a broken knife in her hand... Broken or not, it was still a knife, and she, I could tell, was not in her right mind... She couldve stabbed something...Anyway, we borrow a bowl to mix and something else, but she gave a- this is your responsibility now, take good care of my things speech.

Kara takes it out of the oven, and places it on the stove. Seconds later...

There is this horrible shattering noise... My face drops. Kara turns to me. The first thing out of her mouth- "Its not Jocelyn's pan" Whew! Still... it was only in there at 375 degrees... and it was placed on the stove, which was warm from the stove...

We try to salvage it.

Then Kara picks a tiny piece of glass out of the pile...

I can see it now... "Oh what kind of pie did you bring?" ... "Banana Cream" ..."You?"
"Chocolate-Banana GLASS!"

I can't feed people a pie with possible shards of glass in it! We scraped it. It wasn't very good anyway... Tasted kind of bloody...

Phone Books

SO, I ran into Kels today, we decided to hang out. We sat around talked, watched a video... Ripped up some phone books. ...No big deal.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm kind of.... something...

So, some of you know, some of you don't, and I feel like we should all be on the same page..

About a month ago, I started becoming concerned with Dallas' church-going habits. I've done everything in my power to help him go on his mission, and I felt the need to encourage church attendance. One Sunday I ran into Neal, and asked him if Dallas was at church, he said no, so I called Dallas, he didn't answer, and I left him a text telling him to go to church.

Next Sunday rolls around and I happen to run into Neal again and I ask if he's seen Dallas. Neal said Dallas was at home sleeping... so I called him....several times. And I texted him...several times. And then I did a drive by his house honking my horn, and calling/ texting.

Basically for a few moments...I was...a ...psycho stalker.

He didn't wake up.... but then he texts me at minute after sacrament ends.
Forgive my doubt... but you DID. NOT. JUST wake up...

I understand you worked the night shift, I understand you go home at 8 am and you are tired. But I also understand that you could've gotten 5 hours of sleep in and then went to church...

I told him it was friends off. Apparently he doesn't know what that means. And I didn't really hold him to that...

Next Saturday rolls around and I find myself at his house partying with his roommates, and I run into Dallas, and I'm like - hey Dallas... you gonna make it to church tomorrow. He says that he has to work the night shift so he'll be really tired, but he would make it.

It's 1:30. His sacrament meeting starts in 20 minutes. I call him... no answer. I text him... nothing. I call Neal. Dallas is still sleeping. I lose it.

I drive over to their house, bust in there, march up to his bedroom door, bang on it as hard as the integrity of the door would allow and I yelled at him to get his lazy butt out of bed. I pause to listen and I hear a tired groan from inside... I start banging on the door again and yelling stuff... a few minutes pass and the only responses I get are mumbled words and groans. He was mostly awake... I got fed up with yelling through his bedroom door, so I said 'Fine. Bye Dallas.' And left.

As im writing this, I am becoming more and more aware of how psychotic I sound... And I thought about not telling you, but lets face it, I am Me, this is what happened, so why not share?

It ticked me off that he couldn't even drag himself out of bed to open his door to have a real conversation with me. It ticked me off that he said he was going to church, and didn't, twice. It ticks me off that he wants to go on a mission and is doing next to nothing to get there.

SO. I'm just done with him acting like he is 12.

I decided not to text him all day. And that day turned into two, which turned into three, and then it was a week...

I ran into his sister Brittany, she apologized on his behalf. And tried to explain. It was a nice gesture of my former-future-sister-in-law... I still want Dallas to grow up, grow a pair and DO something.

Then all of a sudden it was a week and a half. Nothing. He hadn't tried to call me, no texts... Nothing. Wednesday, he decides to text me... "Hey" ...Thats it. Thats all he texts me, a week and a half and the only thing he can say is "Hey" GAH! I hate stupid boys. I was just walking into institute so I texted him back- 'Hey, i'm just walking into institute, class is done at 9:30.' ...Nothing.. Then I texted him again at about 11:30..'And now im going to bed...'

Its currently 11:37 on Friday...and i've got nothing.

So, I've given him ample time to man-up. And I was thinking. I have three options...

1- Be kind, compassionate and understanding. Let him know that im here for him when he wants to talk about it, and we are still friends and I want him to be happy.

2- Hunt him down, corner him, say "Hey" and without another word, turn and leave and not talk to him again for a while

3- Stalk him, stake-out his car, and when he comes out to his car say this- "You have 5 minutes to convince me to ever talk to you again. Go." Then bust out a stop watch and actually time it.

I'm just so sick of men, and their crap. Say what you mean, be HONEST, make decisions. DO SOMETHING!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Thoughts from a Toilet

Do you ever have the most stellar idea for the most brilliant blogpost on the face of the earth... and then forget it, because you thought to yourself 'This idea is too amazing to forget, I don't have to write it down because its so awesome that there is no way I will forget it'? Don't bother answering this, I know this happens to you. And even if it doesn't happen to you, just let me believe that it happens to you. Please?

Anyway, this happened to me today. I was sitting on the can, and I remember having this stroke of pure genius, which happens to be a normal occurrence on the can. And thats all I remember. I know some people like to take the New York Times crossword or Junior Sudoku into the the bathroom(depending on what they had eaten the night previous), and they would thus have some type of writing utensil handy, but as luck would have it, I had nothing of the sort in my bathroom. I remember thinking to myself that this inspired blogpost would possibly be one of my finest. I cant count on my stupid brain for anything! Gah! Next time ill promptly write it down...

Anyway, this got my thinking... I do some solid brain work in the bathroom, in fact, im pretty sure my best ideas have come a few hours after eating a big dinner, complete with piles of greasy meat... if you know what I mean ;)


I used to keep scriptures in my bathroom. I mean, if im getting devine inspiration about blogposts, just think what a difference a little spirit would make, and a little focus... Salvation, here I come! ...I think i'm going to start doing that again.

And I think im going to put a pad of paper and some pens in the bathroom, so that even if you don't have an epiphany, you can leave little sweet notes for whomever uses the facilities next. Ex. "Happy Poopin!" or "I hope you have an awesome bowel movement." OR- "Takin' the Cosby kids to the pool again eh? You should totally get them a chauffeur."

Maybe not. And on that note- I hope you spend a little more time in the bathroom. Its quiet, usually no one interrupts...nice.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Potato mountain and snow stuff

We headed back to Rexburg to stay with another one of Sam's Aunts. They lived on a farm a little ways east of Rexburg... in a Giant, beautiful house with the plushiest carpet ever felt by man. Legit dream house. They had a full on wrestling mat in the basement, which KT and I took full advantage of. Alongside the theater room and an indoor play house...

They were the nicest people too. They had 5 kids, all really well behaved. Unbelievable. They were potato farmers. Surprise!! And they were talking about how many potatoes they harvest, it was ridiculous, so they suggested that the next day the kids take us out and show us. I looked forward to this with great anticipation. Potatoes are awesome.

SO. The kids took us out to one of their silo-type storage place things. On snowmobiles. I had never been on a snow mobile before but I figured they were much like a quad. They had 3, so the oldest took the 3 little ones, I jumped on with the second oldest and Sam and KT rode together. These kids were crazy, or maybe it was because i'd never been on one of these things before... We are ripping across these snow-covered fields, then we cross this road and this kid just opens her up... he yells back to me, this is about normal speed. Jokingly I yelled back "You re crazy, this is fast!" Next thing I knew I was hanging on for dear life to this 12 year old boy, I peek up over his shoulder, the speedometer says 40. Miles an hour. Im going 40 MILES AN HOUR, hanging on to this 12 year old psycho, hitting bumps, catching air and thinking i was going to die. He was just sitting there laughing it up, and im trying not to wet myself. Thats like 65 kph, in the hands of a 12 year old... Ok, I wasn't that scared, but believe me, I was hanging on!

So we get to this silo, I go inside, and instantly wish I had a camera. I have never seen so many potatoes. If you added up all the potatoes I had ever seen in my life, they wouldn't make a pile that would even come close to comparing. Legit- I could bury two of my houses under that pile, and you wouldn't even know they were under there. I asked if the pile was level on top, or if it was mounds. They asked me if I wanted to see. Yes, Yes I would. So they started scrambling up this potato mountain, motioning for us to join them. It was quite the journey. I think it probably took 6 or 7 minutes to reach the summit of Potato Mountain... The going was kind of difficult, the potatoes would shift and roll underneath you, it was like trying to climb a really loose sand dune. We got to the top and this thing stretched on for what was probably an entire rugby field's length... Ridiculous. We had a potato fight. Epic.

Later on we went sledding, We took the snowmobiles up this sweet hill and someone would sled down and someone would go pick them up with the snowmobile and bring them back up. Best kind of sledding ever. No work involved! Anyway, we all gather up there and this hill is pristine! Its totally white and untouched. You couldn't even tell how steep it was cause everything was so white. The little ones warned me that there was a little bit of a drop. I asked how bad it was, and they said it wasn't too bad, so I took off, sprinting as best I could, jumped and superman-ed it. Head first, arms back. I was a bullet and I kept picking up speed, this was awesome!! Then I get close to this drop. Its probably a 3 foot drop. All my weight is on the front of the sled. I'm sailing through the air and tilting face down, there wasn't anything I could do really, it happened so fast, I swan dived into the snow. It wasn't a really well formed swan dive, I was definitely flailing, but it was definitely head/ face first. Apparently there was this huge spray-wave of snow, that "WAS AWESOME". Its a good thing it was powder... I'm beginning to think my neck won't ever be the same...

Challenge accepted, and exceeded

So the whole point in our little road trip was to go to this concert. On the way there we happened to discuss the matter of kissing strangers. Now, I have kissed a stranger, Sam has kissed a stranger, which left KT.... she has never kissed a stranger. Inevitably a dare was issued. Her response? "Challenge Accepted"

We got to the concert a little early, and we were lined up outside, I surveyed the situation... man, it was slim pickins... 16 year olds as far as the eye could see. I may be a cougar, but I draw the line at pedophile. And anyone that could have been older looked....umm... like they live in their mom's basement and she periodically brings them trays of rice krispy squares... if you know what I mean.

First band up- Now, Now Every Children. I hadn't heard of this band until about a week ago, not my favorite, but highly entertaining. Next band= the reason for the trip. Gold Motel. Greta Morgan(lead singer from The Hush Sound)'s solo career...thing. It was pretty freakin awesome. After they finished their set the band would just be walkin around the venue like nothin. So cool. Then it was Jukebox the Ghost, also really entertaining.

By the time Hello, Goodbye was up, I was kind of done. We were standing near the back and the bassist from Gold Motel kept walking by. Every time he did KT would look like she wanted to start a conversation with him, but would chicken it out at the last second, or she couldn't think of anything to say, whatever the case may be- he goes to walk by again and I stick out my arm and grab him. And i'm like "Hey! You rock" and he is like "Thanks" And then, like I should've assumed, it got awkward. Most musicians are really weird, he was no exception, and it didn't help that we really had nothing to say to each other. Its like he didn't know how to make conversation, or when it was appropriate to stop making 'conversation'... eee. It was a fail on both ends. Cause when we were done, he decided to stand three feet away from us, like he was still with us, but not...

Anyway, concert ended and the place cleared out fairly fast, I guess everyone's mommies wanted them in bed by a decent hour... We stuck around talked to the band, aka Greta, who was actually really normal. Anyway, back to the dare, options were dwindling... I was about really to go, then KT got this surge of "No, I have to do this" energy, so she went up to the Gold Motel merch guy, asked to kiss him, and she got it. Kudos to her! And thats not the only thing she got. Apparently he wasn't just the merch guy, he was the Band's tour MANAGER. And, he totally gave Kt his number. Check and Mate KT, you win.

I'll admit it, I was wrong.

So, all my life I was brought up with the sure knowledge that Idaho was comprised of flat, boring, potato farms and desert, any civilization was very hick-ish, and there was nothing to do there.

While mostly true, Idaho is kind of awesome, and i'd like to take this opportunity to admit that I was wrong. The Snake river winds through deep canyons that are so cool, it come to these falls which by the way are taller than Niagara.
This is my "I was wrong" face...

There are also Giant Soda Cans...Aka Pop Cans. Silly American words.

Idaho also has very nice botanical gardens...all year long...

It started snowing big, heavy flakes of snow the morning we decided to go visit the botanical garden. Which we thought was fine, because we were under the impression that it was indoors... there was supposed to be a butterfly room... Silly us.

There was a little office where we paid to get in. We had a conversation with the lady, that I didn't think much of at the time, but looking back, I see where she was going with it... After the usual small-talk you have with people like this she asked us if we were Canadian. I assumed it was the way we spoke that gave us away, and then she made a remark about us being able to handle this weather.

I thought she meant it as a general statement, not that she thought we were nuts for wanting to walk around a frozen garden with nothing in it. But thats exactly what she was thinking- Two crazy Canadian girls want to pay to walk around in the snow...

We also hit up the Capital Building. It was pretty cool, made entirely of marble.

Sat in a session equivalent to a Parliament Session. My childhood self called me out on being a geek. Its ok, I kicked my childhood selfs trash.

Last but not least- to hit up the full spectrum of what Idaho has to offer- A little historical site- Old Penitentiary! Sometimes jail is fun. Sometimes a little creepy. Shivs, Bars and Benches.

So, touche Idaho. You were good times.

Kinder Illegal Surprise

I've broken up my road trip into a bunch of little blogs, cause reading one huge long blog is annoying. Almost annoying as writing it. So, I'll see how much I can get through tonight.

I booked reading week off forever ago. I missed having time off when all my friends had time off. Work sucks like that. And I had something awesome to do! Road trip with my best bud KT. Idaho here we come.

So Sam Workman came with. She has family down there and she wanted to go visit, and that meant we had a place to stat a few nights. Excellent! Anyway, we stocked up for our road trip, junk food and stuff. She bought some Kinder-Surprises for her little cousins cause they don't sell them down in the states. ....Yeah... There is a reason they don't sell them in the states...

We were rolling through the boarder, chattin it up, the guy in the booth was really nice, he was just breezing through the usual questions- "Where are you going? How long are you going to be there? Whats the purpose of the trip?" Simple, Idaho, the whole weeek, concert, you know, we talked about bands for a minute or two... "Are you taking anything down there that will be staying down there?" No.

Then Sam pipes up from the back seat, "Just some Kinder Surprises" ...Really?

I was looking at the guards face, and this is what that face said to me-
"Why? Why would you even say that? What on Earth possessed you to bring up the fact you had toys surrounded with stupid chocolate eggs? Are you a moron? You couldn't just keep your mouth shut?" This was exactly what his face said to me.

This is what his mouth said to me- "There is a reason they don't sell them in the states... they are illegal"

Then his face said "No, I'm not kidding. ...Idiot."

Then my thoughts totally agreed with his face. Idiot.

They took us inside and gave us our options- Option 1- They could Seize the contraband eggs, which could take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours... or Option 2- Sam could walk them back into Canada and surrender the eggs to the Canadian Customs.

Obvious choice. They held our passports while Sam walked the eggs back into the country. When they finally decided we weren't a flight risk, the guy they handed us over to gave us back our passports, his exact words were "So, you're with the evil kinder surprise girl huh?" We claimed not guilty, but we both knew we were guilty by association... accessories to bringing contraband chocolate eggs into their country... Of all the illegal things Ive done, I get caught on this...

Luckily the Canadian boarder was more than happy to take the eggs. We all get off Scott-free. Sam lost her speaking at the boarder privileges. Permanently.

We had a good laugh about it with the guards... Silly Americans... can't handle toys and food at the same time, so they outlaw it. Pansies.

Lame Blog=Blame(me)

Ok, so recently, my blog has become super lame, and super boring. And for this, I can only blame myself. My posts have become sporadic and boring. Very travel-log ish, or talking about vague problems, using analogies that don't really make sense.... or apologetic for something that no one cares to hear an apology....for.....

Crap. That's what this is. My bad.

People are Dogs

Have you ever tried to tease a hungry dog? Its only fun for a little bit... If you dangle a nice piece of meat in front of a wild, starving dog, you can expect to get your hand chomped on. This is not a pleasant feeling. Common sense. Right? And if you give it the food, then take it away after he has had a taste... well, you can expect to say goodbye to your hand all together.

Well people are a lot like dogs... but worse.

I don't think the universe really understands this. Which I find funny, because of all things/people, you would think that the universe would know.

Actually, as I think about it, the universe might know, it just has a sick sense of humor, and it rests easy in the comfort of knowing that we won't ever be able to exact our revenge on it. Cocky Universe.

I shouldn't blame it though. I should know better.

Once upon a time I had something. And it was great. It became a part of me. Then all of a sudden it was gone. Well, not gone... I could see it, smell it and feel it, but it was no longer mine. This provoked the dog-like anger. But being human, it was worse. It wasn't so much that it was gone... the dog gets angry because he doesn't have it anymore. I got angry because I knew it still existed and it was in the hands of someone else. It was this someone else that really provoked the anger.

The bonus of being human though, is rational thinking. And being the mature person that I am, I learned to cope, forgave even.

Then it changed hands again, it was given to someone that didn't know how to handle it, again, the anger. The dog sees his meat getting kicked around the yard... So I distanced myself from it, to the point where I might not even want it. Then all of a sudden, its back. Right in front of me. Almost mine... Then its snatched away at the very last second. Fury, Raging Burning Fury...Hungry Dog Getting Teased FURY.

That was it! I gave up on it. Shut it away. Forgot it. Time passed. A long time. Then slowly, I turn my head, out of the corner of my eye I see it. And its coming back... Its right there again, right in front of me... But I've been here before. I've been burned before. Why should I trust it? Why should I get my hopes up? You even asked if I wanted it. OF COURSE I STILL WANT IT. The dog is still hungry, right? I said I wanted it, you said that you'd give it to me... Am I going to reach out? Just to have it slide through my fingers?

The problem is this, I had it, things worked. I lost it, and well, I lost it. It was dangled in front of me and I changed my world to make it work again, made space for it to fit, and I was left with this space. Now its back... the space may be full right now, but with a little rearranging... but that creates a hole, if I don't ever get it back- walking around with that hole until things fall back into

Why do I let hope rise?

I'm not really sure how else to explain it. Im not sure if I got my point across, but this it what it comes down to- Im sick of being that dog, trying to get the steak, just to jump for it and yelp when the chain that ties me to the fence chokes me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Ok, so I know this is a little delayed, as were the last few posts, but i'm trying to be better!

Monday morning I walk into work, not expecting anything special. Its Valentines Day, Whoopity Friggin Do! I don't have a hate on for it. But it hasn't gotten me really excited since I graduated from elementary school. It not even technically a holiday, get over it people.

Anyway, there were a couple new faces at the office. This happens quite regularly. We joke at our office that if a stranger walked in off the streets wearing shrubs and started walking around like knew what was going on, nobody would even question it. People get hired, there are practicum students, and people job shadowing, and no one ever tells anyone. Kind of funny. It is just a joke though... for those of you wondering if you could get away with an office take over, just by pretending you belong... don't even try.

Back to the point, so apparently its New-Girl-Day. There are two. A tall, juvenile-looking blonde and a skinny, long necked brunette girl. Si denote- People with long neck shouldn't wear turtlenecks, you think its covering up something, really it just emphasizes it. Also, im sorry you have a long neck... its weird... I kind of want to know if she legit has an extra vertebrae... do you think its rude to ask? Or maybe her shoulders are just so tiny it makes her neck LOOK long, when in actuality, shes NOT a giraffe... Sorry, ADD moment.

I don't think anything of these girls, the blonde girl is real quiet. And the brunette girl is awkward... like a giraffe is awkward... I ask Whittny whats up with the new girls, she gives me a little smirk and says "Jamie told them if they didn't take the sharps of their tray, and if they put stuff in the bio hazard bin that didn't belong in the bio hazard bin... you were going to tear their heads off..."

Thanks Jamie.

So I find Jamie, and i'm like "Really? You told them i'd rip their heads off? You scared to poor children to death on their first day?"
Her response "Well its the truth" to which I shrug and say "But you didn't have to go and scare them like that!" Whittny pops in with her two cents "Well, they might as well know now that you are a horrible person, rather than finding out later" To which I also shrug and walk away. Its true...


Anyway, I come to find out that Blondie is doing her practicum and Giraffe-Girl actually got a job here... I didn't know we were hiring. Either way, both of them will be around for a while and they are already afraid of me.

On another note- Whittny has three guys chasing her, so she came to work today pretty nervous, she really was hoping none of them did anything stupid. She hates Valentines Day almost as much as she hates Christmas. As she puts it "I hate Christmas, I hate Valentines Day... I like Easter, it doesn't mean anything. Well, It does but I don't have to do anything.

Late morning a lil something arrives for her...

She is super embarrassed. Its hilarious. Best part? It was from a guy she agreed to go on a pity date with... Awkward. Halfway through the afternoon a second bunch arrive...She about dies.
I am basically rollin on the floor of our staff room, the second bunch is huge, and its from the same place! All the ladies at work are jealous, she is super embarrassed and we start cracking jokes about how they will need a bigger truck to deliver the next guy's...

I texted Dallas "Happy Valentine's Day! I thought about sending flower to your work...I didn't"

Dallas texted me "I thought about showing up to your work dressing as cupid, but i didn't"
I laughed about this. I was also grateful that he didn't.

Added bonus to working for a dentist? Other dentists send you stuff for giving them referrals. Dr. Gibb totally send us pizza! Awesome. And it was from BP's so it was Heart-Shaped Pizza! Precious. AND Delicious.

To Cap the day off, I was driving home and the Pronghorns Rugby girls were out in the field practicing. It was great because the weather was nice enough for them to be out, no snow on the field, perfect rugby weather, but at the same time, just seeing them makes me miss rugby so bad.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A weekend of culture, both ends of the spectrum

Who says i'm not a cultured person? I get all sorts of culture! My roommate Jocelyn is an Opera singer at the U of L. Yeah, I support that. So Dallas and I went to the opera. I felt all sophisticated and what not. Unlike some people, I actually appreciate opera. It doesn't, and I quote "make my ears bleed". And it was great because Jocelyn's opera was quite humorous, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was classy and totally cultured.

Saturday night I went to see Tanner Tolman's fight. Dallas was going to come with, but he got sick. Again. Somebody needs to do something about that boy. So it ended up being myself, Dan and Brad. Apparently their girlfriends aren't cool enough to want to come. Whatever. Also, my mom and my sister came with cause Tanner is family. Represent! I think its cool that my mom is cool enough to come to a bar and watch fights. SO. All the fights were really good, only one made it into the second round. It was knockout after knockout after submission, glorious!

This was Tanner's fight. The guy we was fighting came out first, and I instantly felt bad for him... He had no idea what he was getting himself into... This was going to be an easy win...

I was right. Also, I feel like I need an army of skanks, apparently they just make everything better.

And to top off my weekend of culture, I went to church. There was this girl that gave a talk and quoted an ENTIRE Lynyrd Skynyrd song... There is a place for Rock Ballads in Sacrament apparently... Opera, Fights, Church, Lynyrd Skynyrd... Yup, my weekend pretty well had it all.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Echo Roadtrip

As a precursor to this post, a week before this trip Dallas and I had a discussion about him going on a mission, about how he really wants to, but its hard, yadda yadda, and essentially we decided to cut back on the 'couple thing'...

So, last weekend Dan, Indie, Dallas and Myself took a trip to Dan's uncle's cabin at Echo lake. I know I am the queen of the marathon date(though I can't really call it a date because ...well its complicated?), but this was going to be the marathoniest of them all!

We left Lethbridge at 2pm Friday, We got back at 11pm Sunday. 57 hours? Possible longest "date" yet. I picked up Dallas, and lo and behold, the kid was sick again... you know for a guy that claims to have an extraordinary immune system, his kind of sucks. It was a solid ride down, the roads were fine right up until we got into Glacier... then my car was pretty much skating the entire way. It was a little nerve racking, but we made it there alive, which is a bonus. Dan's Uncle's Cabin wasn't right on the lake, but it was def close enough, it was beautiful, like what my house will look like one day. First order of business? Famous Daves...

It had been a solid 6 months since the boys were last down here, and they had gone to Famous Daves, and on the menu, there was a platter that included an "ENTIRE CHICKEN" ... for months I had to listen to them talk about the ENTIRE CHICKEN... it got old, real fast. So, we went to Famous Daves. And you know what? This platter fed the four of us. And it was delicious. I think this is tradition now... every time we leave Canada, we must find a Daves, and we MUST have an ENTIRE CHICKEN. You know what else? Americans know how to do their BBQ- the chicken, the ribs, the beans and coleslaw, and CORNBREAD MUFFINS to die for... mmmm.

Enough of that, we hit up the grocery store on the way back, I had the intent of stocking up on Cherry Dr. Pepper, cause that's the good stuff, but I found Mountain Dew White Out... That's the REAL good stuff... its my new favorite. It has more caffeine than Pepsi. Don't judge.

By the time we got back to the house it was getting late so we watched a movie and went to bed. All of us in our own rooms. Don't even worry about our chastity! We are good boys and girls.

I was the first one up in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep but to no avail. I went upstairs to read by the fire, and I did so for about an hour and a half until Indie decided it was time to get up. We decided not to wake the boys just yet, they need their beauty sleep. So we went on a little adventure! We walked down to the lake, it was gorgeous. The sun was shining, there was not a breath of wind and it was probably in the double digits degrees-wise. Then we wandered back up the road and found the volunteer fire department, they had on of those practice fire house things, we tried to get inside it... we failed. So we continued walking and found our way to a road that went behind our cabin, so we decided to go tromping through the snow to get back. I sunk in up past my knee a few times. We got back, and the boys still weren't up, we had had enough so we started calling for them, man they are pretty when they first wake up....

We took the truck that was out there cause we didn't want my lil ol car getting stuck anywhere and we went for a drive, sight seeing and such, we went to Costco. Mmmm, Costco in the states...SO good. So much free food. Samples are the greatest thing ever. We also stopped at Famous Daves to get more corn bread, cause it was that good.

We played monopoly and cards, ate pizza and watched movies, went for a moonlit walk to the lake, star gazed in the snow, had a lil snowball fight, it was a great vacation. As for our agreement to be less coupley... umm yeah... I guess this weekend didn't count... I tried to enforce said agreement, but the boy was little self control, and is very persistent. At one point in time I refused to let him anywhere near me, I had no idea I was that quick... It didn't last long though, speed is not my forte, so I turned to what IS my forte... In the matter of about 40 minutes, I had him in 3 different headlocks. He has an enormous head so this was no small feat, I thought a few times about just choking him out... staying away from him would be a lot easier if he were unconscious... ...I didn't.

Didn't get to watch the Superbowl, but its probably better that way... my Steelers lost.

The roads were better on the way back, I let Dan drive, I trust him with my car, I just wanted to chill. The trip back was fairly uneventful. We stopped in Magrath at Indie's house, visited with her family, which, was not as awkward as I thought it would've been. They are cool people. And funny.

Anyway, all in all, it was a good weekend, to bad though... this was the only picture I got of it...

Yeah...thats exactly what it looks like... taking a leak...

Sunday, February 6, 2011


Well folks. It's been one year since I started this thing. And officially, this is my 92nd post. I was hoping to make it 100, and I knew this day was coming... know.

Some Blogstats-
Longest time in between posts- 13 days.
Most commented on posts- Tied- My Friends in Awkward Album Art, Confessional 1 and End of Sarcasm
Longest Blog- The Jerry Saga
Shortest Blog- New Month's Resolution

It's still pretty good. It's about one post every four days. We can look at it this way, it leaves a whole lot of room for improvement!

Bloggoals for this next year-
1. Be more consistent. I know I would go days and weeks at a time with nothing, and then you'd get a bunch right in a row...and you're right, it IS annoying.
2. I'm going to post 120 posts this year! That's a blog every 3 days. Totally achievable.
And 3. I believe you guys need more pictures, so a post with pictures at least every couple of weeks.

There you have it! What to expect from me over the next year. And to honor this past year, I've put together a list of my Top 5 Best Posts...

5. Running
4. Ethel/Re-Ethel
3. End of Sarcasm
2. Double Feature
1. Confessional 1

And just for a little more enjoyment...I give to you, the greatest things i've ever written, in no particular order...
"I blame the Industrial Revolution"
"Don't let racks distract you while driving in the snow"
"Stupid Dinosaurs"
"Mom= mood killer"
"Seriously, he cries ALOT for being a cartoon dinosaur"
"its like giving a penguin a gun"
"Sometimes I use smarties to make decisions"
"I practically made out with your hand...make out with my face"
"Hot dead fish"
"I've been feeling like a hobo this week... drowned hobo, wedding crasher hobo, stalker hobo..."

Monday, January 31, 2011

The Wagon. Or Lack Thereof.

So. Its confession time. Again. But not those fun little confessions like "I watch Spanish soap operas." It is REAL confession time...

I fell off the wagon somewhere along the line. I know you are asking yourself 'which wagon?' And the answer lies in the before and afters.

BEFORE: I used to be able to straight up quote scripture at the drop of a hat. I used to write and give talks on a monthly basis. I could give a spiritual thought/lesson with 30 seconds notice, and it was good. I used to be scripture chase champion. I never declined an invite to FHE, Institute or any YSA activity. I'd bear my testimony on a fairly regular basis. I held two pretty major callings, that I totally rocked. I used to volunteer to say prayers. I'd go out of my way to meet new people and make friends...

You get the idea. I was Ms. Molly Mormon.

Now(ish)... The confession part... I still read my scriptures everyday, but just for the sake of reading. There is no study involved. I've given 1 talk in the last 3 months. I don't carry my scriptures (almost) anywhere anymore, I used the scripture app on my phone. I constantly skip FHE, Institute and YSA activities. I (finally)got released from my callings, and the new calling I did get was disbanded by the 1st pres. And im in calling-limbo now. I avoid people and havn't done many super social things lately. ...again... you get the idea.

Well, over Christmas I had time to think about this low that I have hit, but didn't really care to do much about it. The weekend I went up to Edmonton, helped change this. See, I LOVE Edmonton... majority of my friends up there make me want to be better. Kiera, one of the girls I rode up with/was staying with set an example for me. She read her scriptures and said her prayers every night we were up there. I went and visited Becky, and she did her visit-teaching, and it was just a bunch of stuff that made me re-evaluate my current spiritual situtaion...

I signed up for an institute class, and i've been going. I hosted FHE at my house. I went to the YSA dance. I bust out some real scriptures, and im actually doing something with them. I got a new calling. I did my Visit Teaching. I volunteered to Pray and offered insight into a gospel discussion. I hung out with some old friends and we had a spirital discussion at a social gathering. Things are looking up. I just wanted you to know that I'm chasing down that wagon, ima jump back on it and hold on for dear life!