Sunday, February 27, 2011

People are Dogs

Have you ever tried to tease a hungry dog? Its only fun for a little bit... If you dangle a nice piece of meat in front of a wild, starving dog, you can expect to get your hand chomped on. This is not a pleasant feeling. Common sense. Right? And if you give it the food, then take it away after he has had a taste... well, you can expect to say goodbye to your hand all together.

Well people are a lot like dogs... but worse.

I don't think the universe really understands this. Which I find funny, because of all things/people, you would think that the universe would know.

Actually, as I think about it, the universe might know, it just has a sick sense of humor, and it rests easy in the comfort of knowing that we won't ever be able to exact our revenge on it. Cocky Universe.

I shouldn't blame it though. I should know better.

Once upon a time I had something. And it was great. It became a part of me. Then all of a sudden it was gone. Well, not gone... I could see it, smell it and feel it, but it was no longer mine. This provoked the dog-like anger. But being human, it was worse. It wasn't so much that it was gone... the dog gets angry because he doesn't have it anymore. I got angry because I knew it still existed and it was in the hands of someone else. It was this someone else that really provoked the anger.

The bonus of being human though, is rational thinking. And being the mature person that I am, I learned to cope, forgave even.

Then it changed hands again, it was given to someone that didn't know how to handle it, again, the anger. The dog sees his meat getting kicked around the yard... So I distanced myself from it, to the point where I might not even want it. Then all of a sudden, its back. Right in front of me. Almost mine... Then its snatched away at the very last second. Fury, Raging Burning Fury...Hungry Dog Getting Teased FURY.

That was it! I gave up on it. Shut it away. Forgot it. Time passed. A long time. Then slowly, I turn my head, out of the corner of my eye I see it. And its coming back... Its right there again, right in front of me... But I've been here before. I've been burned before. Why should I trust it? Why should I get my hopes up? You even asked if I wanted it. OF COURSE I STILL WANT IT. The dog is still hungry, right? I said I wanted it, you said that you'd give it to me... Am I going to reach out? Just to have it slide through my fingers?

The problem is this, I had it, things worked. I lost it, and well, I lost it. It was dangled in front of me and I changed my world to make it work again, made space for it to fit, and I was left with this space. Now its back... the space may be full right now, but with a little rearranging... but that creates a hole, if I don't ever get it back- walking around with that hole until things fall back into

Why do I let hope rise?

I'm not really sure how else to explain it. Im not sure if I got my point across, but this it what it comes down to- Im sick of being that dog, trying to get the steak, just to jump for it and yelp when the chain that ties me to the fence chokes me.

1 comment:

  1. no idea what you are refferring to...but I can relate to it in my own ways. Oh life...