Sunday, February 27, 2011

Potato mountain and snow stuff

We headed back to Rexburg to stay with another one of Sam's Aunts. They lived on a farm a little ways east of Rexburg... in a Giant, beautiful house with the plushiest carpet ever felt by man. Legit dream house. They had a full on wrestling mat in the basement, which KT and I took full advantage of. Alongside the theater room and an indoor play house...

They were the nicest people too. They had 5 kids, all really well behaved. Unbelievable. They were potato farmers. Surprise!! And they were talking about how many potatoes they harvest, it was ridiculous, so they suggested that the next day the kids take us out and show us. I looked forward to this with great anticipation. Potatoes are awesome.

SO. The kids took us out to one of their silo-type storage place things. On snowmobiles. I had never been on a snow mobile before but I figured they were much like a quad. They had 3, so the oldest took the 3 little ones, I jumped on with the second oldest and Sam and KT rode together. These kids were crazy, or maybe it was because i'd never been on one of these things before... We are ripping across these snow-covered fields, then we cross this road and this kid just opens her up... he yells back to me, this is about normal speed. Jokingly I yelled back "You re crazy, this is fast!" Next thing I knew I was hanging on for dear life to this 12 year old boy, I peek up over his shoulder, the speedometer says 40. Miles an hour. Im going 40 MILES AN HOUR, hanging on to this 12 year old psycho, hitting bumps, catching air and thinking i was going to die. He was just sitting there laughing it up, and im trying not to wet myself. Thats like 65 kph, in the hands of a 12 year old... Ok, I wasn't that scared, but believe me, I was hanging on!

So we get to this silo, I go inside, and instantly wish I had a camera. I have never seen so many potatoes. If you added up all the potatoes I had ever seen in my life, they wouldn't make a pile that would even come close to comparing. Legit- I could bury two of my houses under that pile, and you wouldn't even know they were under there. I asked if the pile was level on top, or if it was mounds. They asked me if I wanted to see. Yes, Yes I would. So they started scrambling up this potato mountain, motioning for us to join them. It was quite the journey. I think it probably took 6 or 7 minutes to reach the summit of Potato Mountain... The going was kind of difficult, the potatoes would shift and roll underneath you, it was like trying to climb a really loose sand dune. We got to the top and this thing stretched on for what was probably an entire rugby field's length... Ridiculous. We had a potato fight. Epic.

Later on we went sledding, We took the snowmobiles up this sweet hill and someone would sled down and someone would go pick them up with the snowmobile and bring them back up. Best kind of sledding ever. No work involved! Anyway, we all gather up there and this hill is pristine! Its totally white and untouched. You couldn't even tell how steep it was cause everything was so white. The little ones warned me that there was a little bit of a drop. I asked how bad it was, and they said it wasn't too bad, so I took off, sprinting as best I could, jumped and superman-ed it. Head first, arms back. I was a bullet and I kept picking up speed, this was awesome!! Then I get close to this drop. Its probably a 3 foot drop. All my weight is on the front of the sled. I'm sailing through the air and tilting face down, there wasn't anything I could do really, it happened so fast, I swan dived into the snow. It wasn't a really well formed swan dive, I was definitely flailing, but it was definitely head/ face first. Apparently there was this huge spray-wave of snow, that "WAS AWESOME". Its a good thing it was powder... I'm beginning to think my neck won't ever be the same...

Challenge accepted, and exceeded

So the whole point in our little road trip was to go to this concert. On the way there we happened to discuss the matter of kissing strangers. Now, I have kissed a stranger, Sam has kissed a stranger, which left KT.... she has never kissed a stranger. Inevitably a dare was issued. Her response? "Challenge Accepted"

We got to the concert a little early, and we were lined up outside, I surveyed the situation... man, it was slim pickins... 16 year olds as far as the eye could see. I may be a cougar, but I draw the line at pedophile. And anyone that could have been older looked....umm... like they live in their mom's basement and she periodically brings them trays of rice krispy squares... if you know what I mean.

First band up- Now, Now Every Children. I hadn't heard of this band until about a week ago, not my favorite, but highly entertaining. Next band= the reason for the trip. Gold Motel. Greta Morgan(lead singer from The Hush Sound)'s solo career...thing. It was pretty freakin awesome. After they finished their set the band would just be walkin around the venue like nothin. So cool. Then it was Jukebox the Ghost, also really entertaining.

By the time Hello, Goodbye was up, I was kind of done. We were standing near the back and the bassist from Gold Motel kept walking by. Every time he did KT would look like she wanted to start a conversation with him, but would chicken it out at the last second, or she couldn't think of anything to say, whatever the case may be- he goes to walk by again and I stick out my arm and grab him. And i'm like "Hey! You rock" and he is like "Thanks" And then, like I should've assumed, it got awkward. Most musicians are really weird, he was no exception, and it didn't help that we really had nothing to say to each other. Its like he didn't know how to make conversation, or when it was appropriate to stop making 'conversation'... eee. It was a fail on both ends. Cause when we were done, he decided to stand three feet away from us, like he was still with us, but not...

Anyway, concert ended and the place cleared out fairly fast, I guess everyone's mommies wanted them in bed by a decent hour... We stuck around talked to the band, aka Greta, who was actually really normal. Anyway, back to the dare, options were dwindling... I was about really to go, then KT got this surge of "No, I have to do this" energy, so she went up to the Gold Motel merch guy, asked to kiss him, and she got it. Kudos to her! And thats not the only thing she got. Apparently he wasn't just the merch guy, he was the Band's tour MANAGER. And, he totally gave Kt his number. Check and Mate KT, you win.

I'll admit it, I was wrong.

So, all my life I was brought up with the sure knowledge that Idaho was comprised of flat, boring, potato farms and desert, any civilization was very hick-ish, and there was nothing to do there.

While mostly true, Idaho is kind of awesome, and i'd like to take this opportunity to admit that I was wrong. The Snake river winds through deep canyons that are so cool, it come to these falls which by the way are taller than Niagara.
This is my "I was wrong" face...

There are also Giant Soda Cans...Aka Pop Cans. Silly American words.

Idaho also has very nice botanical gardens...all year long...

It started snowing big, heavy flakes of snow the morning we decided to go visit the botanical garden. Which we thought was fine, because we were under the impression that it was indoors... there was supposed to be a butterfly room... Silly us.

There was a little office where we paid to get in. We had a conversation with the lady, that I didn't think much of at the time, but looking back, I see where she was going with it... After the usual small-talk you have with people like this she asked us if we were Canadian. I assumed it was the way we spoke that gave us away, and then she made a remark about us being able to handle this weather.

I thought she meant it as a general statement, not that she thought we were nuts for wanting to walk around a frozen garden with nothing in it. But thats exactly what she was thinking- Two crazy Canadian girls want to pay to walk around in the snow...

We also hit up the Capital Building. It was pretty cool, made entirely of marble.

Sat in a session equivalent to a Parliament Session. My childhood self called me out on being a geek. Its ok, I kicked my childhood selfs trash.

Last but not least- to hit up the full spectrum of what Idaho has to offer- A little historical site- Old Penitentiary! Sometimes jail is fun. Sometimes a little creepy. Shivs, Bars and Benches.

So, touche Idaho. You were good times.

Kinder Illegal Surprise

I've broken up my road trip into a bunch of little blogs, cause reading one huge long blog is annoying. Almost annoying as writing it. So, I'll see how much I can get through tonight.

I booked reading week off forever ago. I missed having time off when all my friends had time off. Work sucks like that. And I had something awesome to do! Road trip with my best bud KT. Idaho here we come.

So Sam Workman came with. She has family down there and she wanted to go visit, and that meant we had a place to stat a few nights. Excellent! Anyway, we stocked up for our road trip, junk food and stuff. She bought some Kinder-Surprises for her little cousins cause they don't sell them down in the states. ....Yeah... There is a reason they don't sell them in the states...

We were rolling through the boarder, chattin it up, the guy in the booth was really nice, he was just breezing through the usual questions- "Where are you going? How long are you going to be there? Whats the purpose of the trip?" Simple, Idaho, the whole weeek, concert, you know, we talked about bands for a minute or two... "Are you taking anything down there that will be staying down there?" No.

Then Sam pipes up from the back seat, "Just some Kinder Surprises" ...Really?

I was looking at the guards face, and this is what that face said to me-
"Why? Why would you even say that? What on Earth possessed you to bring up the fact you had toys surrounded with stupid chocolate eggs? Are you a moron? You couldn't just keep your mouth shut?" This was exactly what his face said to me.

This is what his mouth said to me- "There is a reason they don't sell them in the states... they are illegal"

Then his face said "No, I'm not kidding. ...Idiot."

Then my thoughts totally agreed with his face. Idiot.

They took us inside and gave us our options- Option 1- They could Seize the contraband eggs, which could take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours... or Option 2- Sam could walk them back into Canada and surrender the eggs to the Canadian Customs.

Obvious choice. They held our passports while Sam walked the eggs back into the country. When they finally decided we weren't a flight risk, the guy they handed us over to gave us back our passports, his exact words were "So, you're with the evil kinder surprise girl huh?" We claimed not guilty, but we both knew we were guilty by association... accessories to bringing contraband chocolate eggs into their country... Of all the illegal things Ive done, I get caught on this...

Luckily the Canadian boarder was more than happy to take the eggs. We all get off Scott-free. Sam lost her speaking at the boarder privileges. Permanently.

We had a good laugh about it with the guards... Silly Americans... can't handle toys and food at the same time, so they outlaw it. Pansies.

Lame Blog=Blame(me)

Ok, so recently, my blog has become super lame, and super boring. And for this, I can only blame myself. My posts have become sporadic and boring. Very travel-log ish, or talking about vague problems, using analogies that don't really make sense.... or apologetic for something that no one cares to hear an apology....for.....

Crap. That's what this is. My bad.

People are Dogs

Have you ever tried to tease a hungry dog? Its only fun for a little bit... If you dangle a nice piece of meat in front of a wild, starving dog, you can expect to get your hand chomped on. This is not a pleasant feeling. Common sense. Right? And if you give it the food, then take it away after he has had a taste... well, you can expect to say goodbye to your hand all together.

Well people are a lot like dogs... but worse.

I don't think the universe really understands this. Which I find funny, because of all things/people, you would think that the universe would know.

Actually, as I think about it, the universe might know, it just has a sick sense of humor, and it rests easy in the comfort of knowing that we won't ever be able to exact our revenge on it. Cocky Universe.

I shouldn't blame it though. I should know better.

Once upon a time I had something. And it was great. It became a part of me. Then all of a sudden it was gone. Well, not gone... I could see it, smell it and feel it, but it was no longer mine. This provoked the dog-like anger. But being human, it was worse. It wasn't so much that it was gone... the dog gets angry because he doesn't have it anymore. I got angry because I knew it still existed and it was in the hands of someone else. It was this someone else that really provoked the anger.

The bonus of being human though, is rational thinking. And being the mature person that I am, I learned to cope, forgave even.

Then it changed hands again, it was given to someone that didn't know how to handle it, again, the anger. The dog sees his meat getting kicked around the yard... So I distanced myself from it, to the point where I might not even want it. Then all of a sudden, its back. Right in front of me. Almost mine... Then its snatched away at the very last second. Fury, Raging Burning Fury...Hungry Dog Getting Teased FURY.

That was it! I gave up on it. Shut it away. Forgot it. Time passed. A long time. Then slowly, I turn my head, out of the corner of my eye I see it. And its coming back... Its right there again, right in front of me... But I've been here before. I've been burned before. Why should I trust it? Why should I get my hopes up? You even asked if I wanted it. OF COURSE I STILL WANT IT. The dog is still hungry, right? I said I wanted it, you said that you'd give it to me... Am I going to reach out? Just to have it slide through my fingers?

The problem is this, I had it, things worked. I lost it, and well, I lost it. It was dangled in front of me and I changed my world to make it work again, made space for it to fit, and I was left with this space. Now its back... the space may be full right now, but with a little rearranging... but that creates a hole, if I don't ever get it back- walking around with that hole until things fall back into

Why do I let hope rise?

I'm not really sure how else to explain it. Im not sure if I got my point across, but this it what it comes down to- Im sick of being that dog, trying to get the steak, just to jump for it and yelp when the chain that ties me to the fence chokes me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Ok, so I know this is a little delayed, as were the last few posts, but i'm trying to be better!

Monday morning I walk into work, not expecting anything special. Its Valentines Day, Whoopity Friggin Do! I don't have a hate on for it. But it hasn't gotten me really excited since I graduated from elementary school. It not even technically a holiday, get over it people.

Anyway, there were a couple new faces at the office. This happens quite regularly. We joke at our office that if a stranger walked in off the streets wearing shrubs and started walking around like knew what was going on, nobody would even question it. People get hired, there are practicum students, and people job shadowing, and no one ever tells anyone. Kind of funny. It is just a joke though... for those of you wondering if you could get away with an office take over, just by pretending you belong... don't even try.

Back to the point, so apparently its New-Girl-Day. There are two. A tall, juvenile-looking blonde and a skinny, long necked brunette girl. Si denote- People with long neck shouldn't wear turtlenecks, you think its covering up something, really it just emphasizes it. Also, im sorry you have a long neck... its weird... I kind of want to know if she legit has an extra vertebrae... do you think its rude to ask? Or maybe her shoulders are just so tiny it makes her neck LOOK long, when in actuality, shes NOT a giraffe... Sorry, ADD moment.

I don't think anything of these girls, the blonde girl is real quiet. And the brunette girl is awkward... like a giraffe is awkward... I ask Whittny whats up with the new girls, she gives me a little smirk and says "Jamie told them if they didn't take the sharps of their tray, and if they put stuff in the bio hazard bin that didn't belong in the bio hazard bin... you were going to tear their heads off..."

Thanks Jamie.

So I find Jamie, and i'm like "Really? You told them i'd rip their heads off? You scared to poor children to death on their first day?"
Her response "Well its the truth" to which I shrug and say "But you didn't have to go and scare them like that!" Whittny pops in with her two cents "Well, they might as well know now that you are a horrible person, rather than finding out later" To which I also shrug and walk away. Its true...


Anyway, I come to find out that Blondie is doing her practicum and Giraffe-Girl actually got a job here... I didn't know we were hiring. Either way, both of them will be around for a while and they are already afraid of me.

On another note- Whittny has three guys chasing her, so she came to work today pretty nervous, she really was hoping none of them did anything stupid. She hates Valentines Day almost as much as she hates Christmas. As she puts it "I hate Christmas, I hate Valentines Day... I like Easter, it doesn't mean anything. Well, It does but I don't have to do anything.

Late morning a lil something arrives for her...

She is super embarrassed. Its hilarious. Best part? It was from a guy she agreed to go on a pity date with... Awkward. Halfway through the afternoon a second bunch arrive...She about dies.
I am basically rollin on the floor of our staff room, the second bunch is huge, and its from the same place! All the ladies at work are jealous, she is super embarrassed and we start cracking jokes about how they will need a bigger truck to deliver the next guy's...

I texted Dallas "Happy Valentine's Day! I thought about sending flower to your work...I didn't"

Dallas texted me "I thought about showing up to your work dressing as cupid, but i didn't"
I laughed about this. I was also grateful that he didn't.

Added bonus to working for a dentist? Other dentists send you stuff for giving them referrals. Dr. Gibb totally send us pizza! Awesome. And it was from BP's so it was Heart-Shaped Pizza! Precious. AND Delicious.

To Cap the day off, I was driving home and the Pronghorns Rugby girls were out in the field practicing. It was great because the weather was nice enough for them to be out, no snow on the field, perfect rugby weather, but at the same time, just seeing them makes me miss rugby so bad.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A weekend of culture, both ends of the spectrum

Who says i'm not a cultured person? I get all sorts of culture! My roommate Jocelyn is an Opera singer at the U of L. Yeah, I support that. So Dallas and I went to the opera. I felt all sophisticated and what not. Unlike some people, I actually appreciate opera. It doesn't, and I quote "make my ears bleed". And it was great because Jocelyn's opera was quite humorous, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was classy and totally cultured.

Saturday night I went to see Tanner Tolman's fight. Dallas was going to come with, but he got sick. Again. Somebody needs to do something about that boy. So it ended up being myself, Dan and Brad. Apparently their girlfriends aren't cool enough to want to come. Whatever. Also, my mom and my sister came with cause Tanner is family. Represent! I think its cool that my mom is cool enough to come to a bar and watch fights. SO. All the fights were really good, only one made it into the second round. It was knockout after knockout after submission, glorious!

This was Tanner's fight. The guy we was fighting came out first, and I instantly felt bad for him... He had no idea what he was getting himself into... This was going to be an easy win...

I was right. Also, I feel like I need an army of skanks, apparently they just make everything better.

And to top off my weekend of culture, I went to church. There was this girl that gave a talk and quoted an ENTIRE Lynyrd Skynyrd song... There is a place for Rock Ballads in Sacrament apparently... Opera, Fights, Church, Lynyrd Skynyrd... Yup, my weekend pretty well had it all.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Echo Roadtrip

As a precursor to this post, a week before this trip Dallas and I had a discussion about him going on a mission, about how he really wants to, but its hard, yadda yadda, and essentially we decided to cut back on the 'couple thing'...

So, last weekend Dan, Indie, Dallas and Myself took a trip to Dan's uncle's cabin at Echo lake. I know I am the queen of the marathon date(though I can't really call it a date because ...well its complicated?), but this was going to be the marathoniest of them all!

We left Lethbridge at 2pm Friday, We got back at 11pm Sunday. 57 hours? Possible longest "date" yet. I picked up Dallas, and lo and behold, the kid was sick again... you know for a guy that claims to have an extraordinary immune system, his kind of sucks. It was a solid ride down, the roads were fine right up until we got into Glacier... then my car was pretty much skating the entire way. It was a little nerve racking, but we made it there alive, which is a bonus. Dan's Uncle's Cabin wasn't right on the lake, but it was def close enough, it was beautiful, like what my house will look like one day. First order of business? Famous Daves...

It had been a solid 6 months since the boys were last down here, and they had gone to Famous Daves, and on the menu, there was a platter that included an "ENTIRE CHICKEN" ... for months I had to listen to them talk about the ENTIRE CHICKEN... it got old, real fast. So, we went to Famous Daves. And you know what? This platter fed the four of us. And it was delicious. I think this is tradition now... every time we leave Canada, we must find a Daves, and we MUST have an ENTIRE CHICKEN. You know what else? Americans know how to do their BBQ- the chicken, the ribs, the beans and coleslaw, and CORNBREAD MUFFINS to die for... mmmm.

Enough of that, we hit up the grocery store on the way back, I had the intent of stocking up on Cherry Dr. Pepper, cause that's the good stuff, but I found Mountain Dew White Out... That's the REAL good stuff... its my new favorite. It has more caffeine than Pepsi. Don't judge.

By the time we got back to the house it was getting late so we watched a movie and went to bed. All of us in our own rooms. Don't even worry about our chastity! We are good boys and girls.

I was the first one up in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep but to no avail. I went upstairs to read by the fire, and I did so for about an hour and a half until Indie decided it was time to get up. We decided not to wake the boys just yet, they need their beauty sleep. So we went on a little adventure! We walked down to the lake, it was gorgeous. The sun was shining, there was not a breath of wind and it was probably in the double digits degrees-wise. Then we wandered back up the road and found the volunteer fire department, they had on of those practice fire house things, we tried to get inside it... we failed. So we continued walking and found our way to a road that went behind our cabin, so we decided to go tromping through the snow to get back. I sunk in up past my knee a few times. We got back, and the boys still weren't up, we had had enough so we started calling for them, man they are pretty when they first wake up....

We took the truck that was out there cause we didn't want my lil ol car getting stuck anywhere and we went for a drive, sight seeing and such, we went to Costco. Mmmm, Costco in the states...SO good. So much free food. Samples are the greatest thing ever. We also stopped at Famous Daves to get more corn bread, cause it was that good.

We played monopoly and cards, ate pizza and watched movies, went for a moonlit walk to the lake, star gazed in the snow, had a lil snowball fight, it was a great vacation. As for our agreement to be less coupley... umm yeah... I guess this weekend didn't count... I tried to enforce said agreement, but the boy was little self control, and is very persistent. At one point in time I refused to let him anywhere near me, I had no idea I was that quick... It didn't last long though, speed is not my forte, so I turned to what IS my forte... In the matter of about 40 minutes, I had him in 3 different headlocks. He has an enormous head so this was no small feat, I thought a few times about just choking him out... staying away from him would be a lot easier if he were unconscious... ...I didn't.

Didn't get to watch the Superbowl, but its probably better that way... my Steelers lost.

The roads were better on the way back, I let Dan drive, I trust him with my car, I just wanted to chill. The trip back was fairly uneventful. We stopped in Magrath at Indie's house, visited with her family, which, was not as awkward as I thought it would've been. They are cool people. And funny.

Anyway, all in all, it was a good weekend, to bad though... this was the only picture I got of it...

Yeah...thats exactly what it looks like... taking a leak...

Sunday, February 6, 2011


Well folks. It's been one year since I started this thing. And officially, this is my 92nd post. I was hoping to make it 100, and I knew this day was coming... know.

Some Blogstats-
Longest time in between posts- 13 days.
Most commented on posts- Tied- My Friends in Awkward Album Art, Confessional 1 and End of Sarcasm
Longest Blog- The Jerry Saga
Shortest Blog- New Month's Resolution

It's still pretty good. It's about one post every four days. We can look at it this way, it leaves a whole lot of room for improvement!

Bloggoals for this next year-
1. Be more consistent. I know I would go days and weeks at a time with nothing, and then you'd get a bunch right in a row...and you're right, it IS annoying.
2. I'm going to post 120 posts this year! That's a blog every 3 days. Totally achievable.
And 3. I believe you guys need more pictures, so a post with pictures at least every couple of weeks.

There you have it! What to expect from me over the next year. And to honor this past year, I've put together a list of my Top 5 Best Posts...

5. Running
4. Ethel/Re-Ethel
3. End of Sarcasm
2. Double Feature
1. Confessional 1

And just for a little more enjoyment...I give to you, the greatest things i've ever written, in no particular order...
"I blame the Industrial Revolution"
"Don't let racks distract you while driving in the snow"
"Stupid Dinosaurs"
"Mom= mood killer"
"Seriously, he cries ALOT for being a cartoon dinosaur"
"its like giving a penguin a gun"
"Sometimes I use smarties to make decisions"
"I practically made out with your hand...make out with my face"
"Hot dead fish"
"I've been feeling like a hobo this week... drowned hobo, wedding crasher hobo, stalker hobo..."