Friday, February 26, 2010

End of Sarcasm?

So, My mother and my grandmother had a conversation about me recently, and my mother decided to let me in on it. Apparently Grandma thinks my "humour" is sarastic, and cutting, and generally horrible. I was flattered.

I guess this is not a good thing. Especially coming from my Grandma, cause lets face it... I get it from somewhere... My mother's side of the family is a group of the most facetious, sarcastic people you will ever meet. I've always prided myself on having something clever, or witty, or at the very least, sarcastic to say.

Anyway, so if my G-ma thinks my humour is biting, it may be time to re-think. So, re-think I did. And I decided to try out not being sarcsatic for the day... I decided this at about 10:20am. I made it official at 10:25am, by posting it as my status on face book. Cause lets face it, nothing is official until its faceficial. I was all alone ion the GA sterilization room, and I felt pretty good about my decision... How hard could this be? (Its easy to not use sarcasm when you are all alone)

11:00- decided to take a walk over to hygiene.

11:02- Forester says something about not being able to find her mirror. I make a remark about how that utterly tragic. I fail. All it takes is one word.

Sarcasm -1 Me -0 ...I felt like the russians, in the 1st period of Wednesday's game... Scored on. And it came hard, and it came early...

I took this as a wake-up call, I actually had to think about what was coming out of my mouth. So I restarted, 11:03. I decided I needed a test, a little practice run, so I went in search of Amy. Now she is not usually a really sarcastic person, however, she is totally ridiculous and elicits sarcasm from me frequently. I went and chatted her up. Victory was mine. Zero sarcsasm, and believe me- Not Easy.

Being thus filled with confidence, I went in search of bigger fish. Ashley Flickenger- Aka 'Flick' ...She has Sarcasm down to a subtle art, but still posseses the ability to refrain from using it. Conversation- point to Alaya. I was on a roll.

At this point in time I had wandered to the back sterilization room, this is where I got caught. I went to leave and standing in the hall there was Tania... Everything she says and does reqires a sarcastic response, not the toughest opponent, but also in the hall... Carrie Wiebe and Julie Wiggil... Formidable foes. Both only speak in sarcasm, and they are fluent... Carrie, the ridiculous sarcasm, the kind you can only just agree with and build upon, and Julie, with her exaggerative, suffering sarcasm... this is the biggest challenge because we have a sarcasunderstanding... Tough to break that, we have a similar conversation everyday, about how life is SUPER, and that day was an awesome day filled with awesome people, rough. I stayed a while in the conversation, made a few non-sarcastic comments, and then ran back to GA safety. Or so I thought. Who should be waiting for me there, none other that THE Kristy Garner. I was foolish to think I could drop my guard, just because i'd had a few successful runs. Topic of conversation? The song on my ipod. It happened to be a song that Garner choreographed a routine to. It was too much, I broke. I told her I was jealous of her mad dance skills, she said I should be, cause I could never make up a dance that was as sweet as hers. I told her she should give me some tips, I also may have told her that I was going to go home, make up a dance to the song and perform it for her tomorrow, so she could critique it... Conversation over... I had realized what had just happened. I tried to justify it. It wouldn't really be sarcasm if I had actually meant what I had said... right? I dug deep down, tried to find an ounce of jealousy for her sweet5 dance moves... there was none. Also I contemplated going home and actually making up a dance. Yes, I was that desperate, not to be sarcastic.

I still counted myself ahead in the game, because I had restrained myself in tough situations, and held back FUNNY comments. It was nearing the end of the day, I was almost home free, then out of nowhere, Im cornered in GA by Julie. There's no escape this time, she initiated the 'Life is AWESOME' conversation, I couldn't think fast enough, I was caught on my heels, there was nothing else to say. Sarcasm- Another point.

Work was finished, I used to joke that EVERYTHING that came out of my mouth was dripping with sarcasm. Its true. So, I decided that today was going to be a warm-up, and tomorrow will be the big show. I feel better prepared now that I've seen whats coming.

So after work, I went to the hospital to visit Michelle. Apparently I am not able to not be sarcastic around her. I told her what I was doing, and she laughed at me. There are people in this world that provoke sarcasm; I never thought Michelle was one of those people. She is. And we love it. 'Cause with Mich, our sarcasm goes so much deeper than mere words. Its in looks, in subtle movements. People who I KNOW provoke sarcasm? Melissa Lowry, whom I also saw today. Ridiculous amounts of sarcasm occur whenever we're together. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

She's going back to Boston Saturday, sadness. Anyway, Tonight was probably the last time I see her for a while. And this is how the night ended. In the doorway, we legit-hug for the first time. Ever. And im slowly walking away, having the 'stay in touch' type convo, I'll tell her i'll keep blogging, and she stops me, and says that we must make a pact. Right now. She grabs my hand, and tells me to repeat after her... "I Alaya. Do solemnly swear. To blog consistently. For the sake of Melissa. Until the end of my days. ...Amen" And that is how we left it. So, I guess this blog is going to be around for quite sometime...Sweet.


  1. Bahahhah... didnt make it far indeed.

  2. So....sometimes I hit post, in the middle of my writing one. NOW i'm done. And hey. I did OK.

  3. faceficial - i like this word.

  4. BAHHAHHAHAHHAHA>... I cant believe that I only read part one of this bad boy. You and your early posting.. damn you. For real... Loves. Loves loves loves. Hahha... Glad our little pact made it up here.

  5. Also I've decided that you do that sneaky business where you post and I comment and then you change your post... trying to keep me on my toes. Well now that I know what game you're playing, I'll be bringing my A game. Ya.. that was a challenge dear.

  6. Dear Melissa, along with fixing blog posts you've already read, I may or maynot leave random comments on posts you made a year ago. Legit- I've been catching up, and have had the urge to comment... whether or not you ever find them... doesn't matter to me. Step up your A-game now!

  7. Ok, so if i do end up commenting on something old, i'll let you know...

  8. Bahahha... no need. I get emailed when people comment. And I check my email obsessively. So I will get it. But yes... please comment. I love comments.