Friday, July 23, 2010

Top "#" Lists

I, like most people enjoy lists. And I hold a special place in my heart for 'top' lists. Whither it be Top 10, top 20 or the top 100 lists, I love them. And I will tell you why. It is because there is so much crap in this world that often times, you find yourself knee-deep in some thick brown muck, looking for a tiny sparkling diamond... odds of you finding a diamond? Slim. Level of frustration when you cannot get the brown stench out of your clothing and you have nothing to show for it? High.

And Top-lists...blessed Top-Lists nearly eliminate the need to go diving in the muck. Now, I do believe that sometimes it can be fun to sift through all that crap and see what you pull out, but sometimes there just isn't the time... Its so convenient that someone has it laid out for you. Like Brittney Spears' Greatest hits... or...any other band's greatest hits albums... um... the point is, sometimes you buy a cd to get ONE song, and that is a waste of my time and money. And half the songs are stupid and you've never even heard them before and you never want to hear them again....but I digress.

Top lists. The best ofs. You tube is great for this. Top ten wipeouts, kids getting hit with ball moments, babies laughing... and the best of them all- The top ten most watched youtube videos of all time.

Usually I do not find any major faults with these lists. However today, I came across a list... Top ten things to do before summer ends. It had things like 'Eat a popsicle, have a bon fire, go camping...' All well and good things, summery things, legit things...then I got to #1... You know what the number one thing you just have to do before summer ends? ...According to, the #1 thing to do this summer is- Fall in love. ... :| Fall in love? Screw you! You can just go suck some twitterpated lemons you stupid website. Falling in love isn't just something you do. It is nowhere near the level of 'eat a popsicle'! Oh, I think im going to go out and fall in love today... Yes, splendid idea, why hadn't I thought of this before? ...

Its not something to do! Its something that happens. Morons...

But other than that list, most lists are pretty good.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed...or cares for that matter... but MORMON BACHELOR PAD blog has ceased. This ticks me off. Who am I supposed to live through now? Bloggers can't just go on vacation. Its unfair to their readers! (PS. I'm going on vacation next week. Suck it.)

Anyway, I really wanted to know what happened. ...Not TO them, well to them but not in real life, I want to finish the story. If that makes sense. I don't care if its real, or even if it actually happened; its like putting down a reasonably decent book right before the end. I just wanna know. They don't even have to write it first person anymore, and they don't have to make it clever, just give me SOMETHING.

I've come up with explainations as to why the stories have stopped-
1- They are actually the losers that MBPExposed claims they are and they finally got real girlfriends and now no longer have time to make up stories.
2- They died in a horrible firey car accident
3- Their wives found out they were writting it and now they are getting divorced
4- It is real, people figured out who they were and now they can no longer write
5- They are being know
6- They were aliens and had to go back to their planet
7- They forgot the passowrd to their blogger account
8- They got bored of having hundreds of girls hang on their every word and dwecided it would be more fun to pretend to be Mormon Bachelorette Place and have guys hang on their every word
9- They decided it was time to come out of the closet
10- They are doing this on purpose, just to tick me off.

Anyway. This sucks. Im going to search for the Bachelorette blog...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

No Filters

I've been spending a fair amount of time with people who have no filters. If you are unsure of what I mean by that, I mean this- anything they think, they will say. There is nothing between the first thought and the mouth= no filter. Don't get me wrong, I love people like this. If I had any super power in the world it would be the ability to read minds. I am aware this makes me a creep, but I am just curious about what people REALLY think. And with filter-less people, they tell me exactly what they are thinking most of the time. Love it. I enjoy the honest. The brutally honest.

Anyway. Point is, as much as I enjoy being around people like this, it makes my curiosity so much worse. I hear what they think about other people, and then I wonder... what do they think about me? Then I decide I don't care what they think about me, and I wonder what other people think about me. Not for any reason other than my own selfish curiosity.

Example: I was walking somewhere with a a filter-less friend, and there was a fairly hefty girl in front of us. Said friend turned to me made a remark about her being a beast and not ever wanting to meet her in a dark alley. Granted, as hefty as this girl was, I'd cross her in a dark alley any night. Now this girl wasn't much bigger than me... so in mind, it would makes sense if someone a little smaller than my friend, saw me walkin around they would think the same thing. So... do people not want to meet me in an alley?

And this kind of stuff has been happening for the past few weeks, and every time they say something ...descriptive about someone, I wonder if people use those words to describe me. Tangent- Some people use words that they think are perfectly legitimate descriptive words, and said words other people find offensive. Example 'Husky'.

OK, So. Please. Help me with my curiosity, if you feel up to it, tell me, honestly what you think about me. Am I someone you don't ever want to cross? For real, submit it anonymously if you want. I don't care. How would you describe me to your friends?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Just done it?

Night's over. What's done is done. And this is what was done...

First item of business- Look Hot. Mission Accomplished. Straightened my hair, a little hint of make up, great clothing choice. I was set. Secondly- Go to the dance. Done. I went for the last half hour of the thing cause I was warned that it was lame. This was the correct choice on my part because apparently they had only played one slow song the entire dance. I didn't miss a thing. The dance was finishing off in the true YSA fashion- a couple slow songs at the very end. I tried to locate Floppy Ears, but to my dismay, I was too late and he was already dancing with another girl. I askede the nearest guy to dance, I led him out onto the floor so I could keep tabs on Floppy Ears, we danced, I kept Floppy Ears in my line of sight the whole time. Excellent. Song ended, and the gentleman I was dancing with felt it appropriate to lead me back to where I found him... away from my target! Curses. By the time I had gotten rid of him, the next song had started and again I was out of luck. So I decided to dance with a friend of mine, try playing the jealousy card. HA. He didn't even look at me... I don't think. Song ended, but to my delight, another started! Three slow songs! A miracle. And I was mere feet away from him. However, friend with whom I was dancing decided that he wanted to continue the conversation. Crap. There Floppy Ears goes. Again.

So the dance ended, and I go up to Floppy Ears and call him out on his non-bbq. He then formally invites me to his bon fire. Sweet. I wander around for a while and pretend to care what other people are doing, but in my wanderings I run into "The Clinger" ...You know that girl thats just the awkward-clingy type? The kind of girl that randomly pulls out a picture of the giant wart that encompassed about 1/5 of the bottom of her foot, and starts going on about not walking around in bare feet... She attached herself to me. "Well I've either got to find someone to drive me to these places, or I just have to go home" "I really want to do something, I don't want to go home" "So, What are you(we) doing?" Oh man. You couldn't have come at a worse time. And I feel bad blowing people off, I really do, but the Clinger is a killer. Especially for what I had planned for tonight. I refuse to babysit you. It took like half an hour but i convinced her i was just going to go home. Freedom. Finally.

So I drive to FloppyEars' house and they've got the fire going in a huge pit in his backyard we stand around and talk. I mention gasoline, we play pyro for a bit, continue talking the party started dwindlin. And then there were five of us, for the longest time, just talking, having a good time. I was my loveable, charming self. The fire pretty much died and we are in his backyard discussing Matt's girl problems and I keep throwing out little hints, that other people picked up on, example- we discuss Matt's trying to play the "play it cool" card on this girl, and im like, "well you know what happens when you play that card too long, people move to edmonton" But it wasn't really a statement more of a whispered comment I made to Tanessa and Andrew. They thought it was funny. More time passes and subtley I make it more obvious that I sort of like him. But he doesn't really notice. But andrew notices and thank heavens for that. Also, after years of failing to get his phone number, I got his phone number... but a lot of good it will do me... its going to change in a week anyway.

I look around the back yard and I see some furniture in the corner of the yard, peering at it I ask if its a futon, and Floppy ears says it is, and that there is a couch and a couple of hammocks over there. Bingo. I let a few minute pass then I say that im going to check out these hammocks, and to feel free to join me, and I start walking away. Andrew says "Floppy Ears will join you" (ok, he didn't say floppy ears, he used his real name, but I don't use his real name) Thank you Andrew!! Floppy Ears followed me to the Hammock, I sat on the Hammock and he sat on the couch facing the hammock. We talked. It was a great talk. He was kind of beautiful in the moonlight, and we talked like we were old friends, it felt really good.

And then I failed. I did not confess my love for him(outright) and I did not kiss him. Sorry people. It was a moment that was too perfect to screw up. And yes, trying to kiss him WOULD have screwed it up. I think I got my point across that I kinda liked him, and even if he didn't quite figure it out, im sure Andrew will fill him in later. And now I have another excuse to go to Edmonton. And that's how the night ended, it was 1:50, and he was leaving at 8 in the morning for Edmonton. We called it a night and we hugged goodbye. Im sure that this is not the end of this relationship. I kind of really like him.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Im just gonna do it.

I've learned a lesson in procrastination. To all you procrastinators out there- You don't have all the time in the world AND you can't just keep waiting, sometimes you have to just do it.

Last sunday I recieved horrible news. FloppyEars was moving to Edmonton! This is unacceptable to me... We were supposed to spend the summer together! This was what the good Lord had in mind when he combined our wards! It was fast and testimony meeting last week, and he gets up to bear his, he explained that this was going to be his last sunday here. My heart cried within me! Noooooooooooo! I thought of all the missed opportunities, all the times I neglected to actually get his number, every moment that I just let pass and I cursed myself for thinking I had forever.

I couldn't sit with him in sunday school because I was teaching, and he disappeared so he missed my phenomenal lesson that would have made him fall in love with me. So after church I stuck around and wandered the halls hoping to bump into him. Luck was on my side, he was waiting to talk to the bishop! I stopped and talked to him for a bit, I expressed the regret of not ever really hanging out with him, he agreeed it was a shame. Then he mentioned that he was having a BBQ on friday, and that I should come. Done! He said he'd facebook me the details. Wicked!

And so I had my plan. Friday. I would go to this BBQ. I will look Hot. I will confess my undying love for him, and I will kiss him. I explained this plan to my co-workers, they all thought it was a solid idea. ...whether they actually thought it was a good idea, or they thought it would make a great bad life choice story for monday, im not sure. Either way, this was happening.

Its Friday. Floppy Ears has not facebooked me yet. I called around to see what was up, and he's nixed the bbq, and is probably just going to have a fire after the dance. Sweet. This works to my advantage, the darkness and the fire=romantic/ easy to get him alone... Excellent. So this is the new plan- Look Hot, Go to dance, possibly dance with FloppyEars, Go to Fire. Kiss Floppy Ears. Done. I'll keep you posted on how this goes.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Weekend+week+weekend

June 26th 2010- The day Jarett married Stef. The week leading up to this day I had my little sister take me shopping. Which usually is something I avoid at all costs; if you know Annalise, you know why. In this week, I bought dress. Shocking. Like full-on, one piece type thing. This was a first for me. The only dresses ive ever worn were ones my mother made for me before I had enough sense to say 'No Mother'.

Good fortune was on my side today, because of construction, and some...less than accurate shortcut directions, I would've been late for my own brothers wedding, but I wasn't the only one that had issues with the bloody construction, there were a few wedding parties that got held up before ours, thus pushing back my bro's and whew! I made it. Not only did I make it, I was early, and guess who I saw at the temple? None other than Lauren Cooper...who wasn't cooper anymore. And guess who took some creeper pics? Oh yes, I did

It was a beautiful day, beautiful wedding. I'm just so happy for my big bro. But at the same time, not because this puts the pressure on me. Curses, being the next oldest... *Shakes fist* We spent some time taking pictures, the happy couple went on a carridge ride, we had family dinner, which was funny. There were games and things. Food could've been a little better but all in all, I thought it was pretty good.

Along with being beautiful, it was long. I was bushed after it, but on my way home I decided to stop in Magrath for Lauren's reception...apparentlyim a messwhen im tired. I had no idea. I totally dumped an entire glass of juice; then, after trying my best to clean up that mess, I proceeded to fill up my glass again. Only after letting it run for a while did I realize that my glass had a crack in it and was leaking juice everywhere. Again. Gong show.

Monday I went fishing with Tanin. We caught an iceberg. For real. We did it on purpose, it was like cast-accuracy testing. Man that thing was hard to reel in. Just when you think you got a good hook in it, a little piece breaks off... He had to leave and go to work I stayed on the lake. I caught a fish, took it for a lap around the lake and let it go. I didn't feel like killing it. Which is an odd thing for me, cause I always feel like killing things.I named him Javert, for obvious reasons. I went to FHE in Waterton, always a good time. Then I hung out with Anna and Jantz in my old apartment. I can still see the repair job I did on my wall after I had punched a hole in it 3 years ago. Ah memories. Then i went back up to the lake, it was a beautiful clear night. I thought about sleeping in my boat, but I opted for sleeping in the back of my Suburban. Good choice on my part cause at 3 am I woke up to a wicked rain storm. I would not have been a happy camper had I been in my boat. Tuesday was spent fishing, it was gorgeous... until a thunderstorm rolled over the mountain. But I was heading out anyway, it didn't bother me none.

I made it back for Christie Pierson's bridal shower, I had my signature scandalous gift. It was fun... poor linds, so innocent...

Oh and then I did my Vistit Teaching!! Yay for last day of the month!

Thursday was spent fishing with the family, Dad came which was nice. My rowing muscles are coming in quite nicely. We made it back just in time for fireworks, which didn't suck. Go Lethbridge! Way to not suck!

Friday Kara, Missy and myself went to the Bomber Command museum in Nanton. That was pretty sweet. We hit up the antiques shop too, cause thats what you do when you are in Nanton. That night Kasia and Kara decided to watch a movie called Being John Malkovich. I sat in on it. Odd movie. I swear Cameron Diaz has never looked worse in a movie. Eeeee

Saturday I was back in Waterton- Picnic with Kara and Missy.

And there you are. All caught up on my life. All things considered, it was a pretty good substitute for going out to BC. ...Stupid car...cost me $800... Cadillacs should be made for off roading... Ruby...