A Sea of Ugly Hats...

This weekend hosted an historic event- The Marriage of Prince William to Katherine Middleton. Mark it on your calendars, write in your journal, its a day to remember. The future King of England got married. And it was quite the event. A day for the history books people!

The time difference between here and London, is such that the wedding happened at 3 am our time, or something silly like that, and equally silly -there were people that stayed up, or got up early to watch it. And to you people I say- you re crazy. Did you think you were going to miss something that they weren't going to air 800 times the next day? Cause you were wrong. Very...VERY wrong...

There are 17 televisions in my office. At any given time 8 of those tvs were airing wedding stuff. And every time I looked up at one of those tvs all I saw was a sea of bad hats...

I have been quickly corrected- they aren't hats. That are called 'fascinators' and they are very high fashion. If fashion is something that somebody dragged out of an era that only existed because people didn't know any better and they had limited supplies to work with... Oh... Wait...

I will admit I watched the wedding twice. Purely to see how bad these hats fascinators were. I really don't understand them... the first thing that crossed my mind was- 'what the frig is on your head' not- 'wow, I am fascinated by the lovely array of feathers and ribbons placed on the nub of a hat that is sitting cockeyed on some surface of your head that isn't quite your head, nor your face...' OK, well it sort of was the latter...

Firstly- Victoria Beckham...


This was not so bad. And the former 'Posh Spice' did pull it off rather well... still, it was only half on her head, it looked like it was trying to crawl onto her face. Then there were the flowery thing with the spiral spikes coming out of it. Beware, not just pretty- she sneezes once and she's gonna stab herself.

Another fascinating piece...

This is actually the first one I saw. If she was going for 'blue jay' - she nailed it...
Again, its not fully on her head. I've come to fin that this it the point... WHY this is the point, i'll never know.

This was my mom's favorite...

Morbid satellite dish? We saw this on tv, and I swear it blocked like 9 people's views. The best part about it was that we saw it from the one side and thought, my that is one big, hats fascinator, but it at least covers half her head, then she turned... WTF, there is a giant bow on the other side... SURPRISE!! Not a good surprise, like when a baby starts poopin in the middle of changing an already poopy diaper- I mean, it was bad enough, then it just kept coming.

I think you all have to agree with me on this one- The Worst Offenders of the Day-
Sarah Ferguson's Daughters...


Or as I have come to know them... The Ugly(hat) Step Sisters. I don't even think this needs my commentary...

Maybe it does- Nope... it doesn't... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Who thought that was a good idea?!? Come on! You can't even tell me the guy who made that thinks its nice, he's probably havin a good ol laugh with his buddies about what they made people put on their heads!

Also, i've been doing a little research, and I'm almost certain there is a direct correlation between how ugly a hat fascinator is and how expensive it is. Well, good for you fascinator-maker-guy.