Saturday, June 5, 2010

Lie to me, Mr. Weatherman

Do you ever feel like the Weather Network is like a huge, horrible ad?

Forecast for Saturday, June 5th- 40% chance of isolated/scattered showers, with <1 mm precipitation. High-18, wind- Calm.

Yes please, i'll take a little of that action.
"Hello, Mr. ScatteredShowers... gee, you look an awful lot like torrential downpour."

Mr. ScatteredShowers shows up on your doorstep for your date. And he turns out to be this monsoon... you know the kind that decreases visibility, the raindrops fall so hard and so fast that they bounce off the ground 8 feet and fall again... And you think this is ok because 10 minutes ago you were sunny, and in about another 10 minutes you'll be sunny again. So im with a weather that, not only is an overweight 40 year old man living in his mom's basement... he happens to be an alcoholic with a gambling problem and a history of violence. Sunny, Downpour, Sunny... And all anyone ever sees is the sunny... and people wonder where you got those bruises on your face. Hmm.

Oh good. Its sunny again. Too bad everything outside is soaking wet.

Dear WeatherMatch,
Please screen your applicants more carefully. No one wants to end up with your misfit weather.

I guess the lesson we can take from this is what you see, may not be what you get. Especially when you trust weathermen.

EFF YOU!! you stupid birds and sunshine!! I know the second I put this computer down, and try and go outside, The rain will come right back. Seriously, he's probably hiding behind my shed. Oh and Eff you Weatherman!


  1. dating website? =4o year old men..

  2. Obviously. The point I was making was that when you are looking for someone who is 25, and you find some 40 year old pretending to be half his age.... ew.

  3. why not just find someone the old fashion way?