Saturday, September 4, 2010

Where have all the real men gone?

Ok people, I've said it before, and I feel like saying it again... there is vast shortage of real, manly men in this world, and it kind of bothers me.

I'm out in Fairmont with some friends/ friends of friends of mine. Out of all the people in with, only one of them knows me really well. The rest of them, I've hung out with a couple of times, and pretty much, the only thing they know about of is my name, and maybe a few minor details.

Anyway, yesterday, we decided to go exploring. So, we drove out to the dump, I'll tell you about that later, and we hiked into this field behind the dump, and into the woods. We 'hike' for about ten minutes, and we end up on the top of this cliff face overlooking the valley. It's gorgeous. So, we stand around talking for a while, and the conversation turns to survival situations. Like what would happen if world war 3 broke out, and everything was destroyed. They started speculating how long they could survive here. Then they started talking about Battlestar Gallactica for a bit. Cute nerds. I make a comment that I could probably survive, fairly easily. Then one of them turns to me, and says "you aren't Katniss..." .....I will kill you where you stand you scrawny little know-it-all tech geek! I don't have my bow with me, but I happen to be carrying a knife, and my neck is about as thick as your thigh, I'd bet I could just break you in half and save myself the trouble of having to clean off my knife!! ...see who's Katniss now! (For those of you unfamiliar with the reference, It's a character from 'The hunger games' books. Look it up.)

Of course I didn't say this. He is my friends boyfriend, and I try not to kill people my friends like. But oh man, this ticked me off. I thought about it and using only things I had on me at the moment, I could probably live for a solid couple of weeks, I only had one small knife...and if you let me have 2 minutes to take what I needed from my car, I'd probably last until winter really hit.

They continued talking, 'I could catch and gut a fish... I've never done it, but I know the theory behind it, and I could probably get enough meat off of it' ... this sentence just about makes me lose it...'theory?' 'probably??' Apparently you don't know me that well. I cannot count the number of fish the caught, killed and ate. Then the issue of building fires came up. I just decided to tune them out because I couldn't listen to one more 'theory' on survival. I came back to the conversation just in time to hear them discuss using tribal systems and forming a team of the strong. Which came with the implication that they would lead the strong team... Honey, you would probably be the first to die, and if nature didn't kill you, I would.

It was getting late, so we turned back. They took one look at the forest behind them and the expression on their faces was one of '...which way did we come from...' Oh My Gosh! Shoot me now. They started of generally in the right direction, the path we took was a little more to the left, but I let the strong men lead us back. Wouldn't want to hurt their precious egos. It's taken them so long to build them up again after getting beat up in high school... I hung back when I knew the were going too far right, and they always back-tracked the right way, so, ....good for them.

And this is the kind of guy I'm almost constantly surrounded by. The " I can hack your computer, and your phone at the same time'' Just give me a man that knows how to kill and how to live. That's all I ask. And if he is able to wrestle a bear with his bare hands that would be a nice bonus. Just sayin'.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I enjoyed this post! So true... When I lived in Hawaii in a back-to-the-land community where lots of idealistic types came and went, it was pretty sad what a majority of the guys were that kind of clueless.

    And what does it say that I'm married to a 'real man' (hunter/shooter/fisher/throw a stone at a squirrel and kill it instantly-kind of guy) - and he's almost twice my age, he's 61!